EVERYBOY 

AND  OTHER.  PLAYS 
FOR.  CHILDREN 


ISABEL  ANDERSON 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2007  with  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


http://www.archive.org/details/everyboyotherplaOOandeiala 


Friday 


Mrs.  Larz  Anderson 

Weld 

avon  street 

BROOKLINE,    MASS. 


Dear  Mr  Stetsonit  was  very  pleasant  Indeed  to  hear 
from  you  again  and  I  wish  we  met  of'tener  ,  Inregard 
to  the  Little  Theatre  in  the  Elizebeth  Peabody  Play 
house  ,  I  wish  i  could  help  but  as  1  am  in  Boston  so 
little  and  there  are  several  such  undertakings  i  do 
not  feel  I  can  at  present  .  Mrs  Jay  with  Emerson 
College  students  will  give  a  play  of  mine  with 
music  by  Mrs  Julia  Ward  Howe  on  December  14  the  and 
21 St  a  Xmas  play  for  children  ,  I  am  sending  you 
my  book  of  childrens  plays  they  are  very  simple  many of 
them  have  been  acted  however  but  howovor  some  time  you 
might  hear  of some  one  wanting  some  such  little  play ^ 
and  in  that  case  if  I  am  in  Boston  viould  be  glad  to 
help  out  if  it  was  given  .  How  I  wish  we  could  ha  ve 
seen  you  act  at  the  Footlights  I  know  how  very  well 


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Merry  Jerry  leaves  Neptune's  palace  to  return 
to  his  home.     (See  page  85). 


I-/975' 


EVERYBOY 

AND  OTHER.  PLAYS 
FOR  CHILDREN 


BY 

ISABEL  ANDERSON 

WITH  ILIVvSTRATIONS  BY 

dVNIVS  CRAVENS 


THE    SHAKESPEARE    PRESS 

114   E.    28th    Street 

New   York 

1914 


Copyright,  1914, 
By  Isabel  Anderson 


I  DEDICATE 

THESE  LITTLE   PLAYS 

WITH  LOVE 

TO   MY  VERY   DEAR 

MOTHER 


AUTHOR'S  PREFACE 

The  popular  demand  for  little  plays  to  be  acted 
by  children  or  by  grown-up  people  impersonating 
children  has  induced  me  to  arrange  these  plays  for 
school-room  use,  private  theatricals,  or  out-door  per- 
formances. 

In  the  initial  piece,  Everyboy,  produced  at  Keith's 
Bijou  Theater,  Boston,  in  December,  19 13,  Mr.  Carl 
Wilmore's  verses  and  music  added  greatly  to  its  suc- 
cess, and  he  has  kindly  let  me  insert  the  former, 
and  a  few  bars  of  the  latter,  in  this  book. 

I  want  to  thank  Mr.  Arthur  Weld  for  his  attractive 
music  for  King  Foxy,  some  of  which  is  in  this  book, 
and  Mr.  Prescott  W.  Cookingham  for  his  music  for 
Merry  Jerry.  I  am  indebted  to  Mr.  John  Loud  for 
his  songs  for  Little  Madcap's  Journey,  and  to  Mrs. 
John  Elliott  for  Mrs.  Julia  Ward  Howe's  delightful 
music  for  the  Mother  Goose  rhymes  used  in  this 
play.  Any  of  the  music  for  these  four  plays  may  be 
had  by  applying  to  me.  If  some  of  the  verses  seem 
irregular,  it  is  because  they  had  to  be  set  to  special 
music. 

Experience  has  shown  that  familiar  tunes  are  gen- 
erally popular,  so  it  has  been  thought  best,  in  the 
other  four  plays,  to  leave  the  selection  of  airs  suit- 


able  to  verses  and  audience  to  the  discretion  of  the 
manager.  But  while  the  music  should  be  familiar,  it 
is  important  that  it  should  not  be  old,  except  in  the 
case  of  Gilbert  and  Sullivan's  operas,  which  are  al- 
most classic,  and  a  few  other  old-time  favorites. 

Much  attention  has  been  given  to  the  present 
vogue  for  dancing.  The  tango  music  used  by  Mme. 
Pavlowa,  Tchaikowsky's  Cossack  music,  and  the 
fairy  music  from  Mendelssohn's  "Midsummer 
Night's  Dream,"  could  all  be  used  effectively.  For 
slower  measures,  Paderewski's  and  Beethoven's  min- 
uets are  suitable. 

In  the  matter  of  costumes,  I  think  paper  ones  may 
be  used  in  all  these  plays.  Paper  is  an  excellent 
medium,  and  lends  itself  with  admirable  effect  to 
stage  decorations,  as  well  as  to  dresses,  at  a  trifling 
cost. 

I  wish  to  express  my  indebtedness  to  "Happy 
Land,"  "Little  Folks"  and  the  "National  Magazine" 
for  allowing  me  to  reprint  the  plays  which  have 
already  appeared  in  their  pages. 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

everyboy ii 

King  Foxy  of  Muir  Glacier 39 

Little  Doubt  57 

Merry  Jerry  73 

The  Gee  Whiz 89 

Justice  Whisker's  Trial 103 

The  Witch  of  the  Woods 117 

Little  Madcap's  Journey 131 


.a^- 


"I  like  what  you  have  brought  me.     I  want  a 
thousand  of  them." 


EVERYBOY 

A  Morality  Play  In  One  Act 


Characters : 

EVERYBOY 

Nature 
Knowledge 
Art 
Truth 
Obedience 
Anger 
Conceit 
Greedy  Boy 

The   Five  Senses — Sight,   Touch,  Taste,   Smell  and 
Hearing 

Songs  and  Dances  for  "Everyboy" 

Song,   by  Nature — "Everyboy,   Awake!" 

Flute  solo  and  dance,  by  the  Five  Senses. 

Song  and  dance,  by  Greedy  Boy. 

Boxing,  with  music,  by  Everyboy  and  Greedy  Boy. 

Song  and  dance,  by  Conceit — "Why  Can't  They  Be 

Like  Me?" 
Duet,  by  Truth  and  Obedience. 
Dance,  by  Art, 
Dance  (wild),  by  Anger. 
Fencing,  with  music  and  colored  lights. 


EVERYBOY 

A    MORALITY    PLAY    IN    ONE   ACT 


(A  gray  curtain  hides  the  stage  from  the  audi- 
ence. In  front  of  it  and  at  either  side  are  two  antique 
chairs  where  Knowledge  and  Nature  sit  when  not 
taking  part.  They  enter  before  the  curtain  rises,  one 
from  the  left,  the  other  right.  Nature  is  dressed  in 
green  and  white  and  carries  a  cornucopia  filled  with 
fruit  and  flowers,  while  Knowledge  wears  a  robe  and 
scholar's  cap  of  purple  "velvet  and  carries  a  large 
book  under  his  arm.  Nature  enters  first  and  speaks 
the  prologue.) 

Prologue 
Good  friends  and  kind,  come  listen  all, 
And  learn  the  things  which  do  befall 
Within  the  head  of  Everyboy 
When  he  awakes  to  pain  and  joy. 

As  these  gray  curtains  start  to  rise 
You'll  see  before  your  wondering  eyes 
The  inside  of  his  head  displayed. 


14  EVERYBOY 

Now  yours  like  Everyboy's  is  made. 
His  joys  are  yours,  his  troubles,  too, 
And  what  he  learns  is  good  for  you. 

I,  Nature,  Mother  of  the  Earth, 
Am  friend  of  Everyboy  from  birth; 
I  give  him  all  his  Senses  Five; 
I  make  him  glad  that  he's  alive; 
I  build  for  him  this  world  so  fair 
To  give  outright  into  his  care. 

But  yonder  cometh  Knowledge  bold. 
With  learned  look  and  volume  old. 
Ho,  Knowledge !    What  have  you  to  say 
For  Everyboy,  who  wakes  to-day? 
(Knowledge  enters) 
KNOWLEDGE   (bows)     Greetings,   Madam  Na- 
ture.    I  have  come  to  add  my  gift  to  those  you 
have  bestowed  on  Everyboy. 
NATURE  And  what  is  your  gift,  good  Knowledge? 
KNOWLEDGE     Mine  is  the  gift  of  gifts,  for  I 
would  help  him  use  that  which  you  have  already 
given  him.     I  would  teach  him  to  build  ships  to 
sail  upon  your  seas,  to  make  wings  to  fly  among 
your  clouds,  to  invent  machines  to  help  him  with 
his  work  upon  the  land.    I  would  teach  him  to  be 
master  of  himself,  so  that  he  may  be  happy  wher- 
ever he  is,  whether  it  is  on  the  land  or  the  sea  or 
in  the  sky. 


EVERYBOY  15 

NATURE    Indeed,  sir,  you  do  bring  a  gift  of  gifts. 

Without  yours,  mine  would  all  be  useless. 
KNOWLEDGE   But  first,  let  me  see  this  Everyboy; 
he  may  not  be  worthy  of  my  trouble.     Can  you 
show  him  to  me? 

(A  picture  of  Everyboy  is  thrown  on  a  screen 
which  is  let  down  for  a  moment  before  the  curtains.) 
KNOWLEDGE     A  manly  little  lad— I  like  him. 
But  still  I  can't  be  sure  till  I  have  seen  the  inside 
of  that  curly  head  of  his. 
NATURE    Everyboy  is  still  asleep  in  a  big  poppy, 
but  I  will  show  you  what  is  in  his  head.     If  you 
will  step  aside,  we'll  lift  the  curtain  of  his  mind 
and  look  within.     There  in  their  places  you  will 
see  his  vices  and  his  virtues,  waiting  till  he  wakes. 
KNOWLEDGE     Sleepy-head  in   Poppyland— and 
dreaming,   too,   no   doubt,    for  poppies  bring   de- 
lightful dreams. 

(The  curtain  rises  on  a  stage  hung  with  soft 
gray  draperies  across  the  back  and  in  a  series  of 
flies  at  either  side  in  such  a  way  as  to  form  niches  or 
cells  for  the  Vices  and  Virtues.  In  the  center  of  the 
stage,  back,  is  a  large  red  poppy,  about  which  the 
Five  Senses  are  lying,  their  green  costumes  giving 
them  the  effect  of  leaves.  While  Nature  sings,  the 
poppy  slowly  opens,  disclosing  Everyboy;  he  is  still 
half  asleep,  and  his  Senses  unawakened,  but  he  begins 
to  grope  about  and  feel  his  way.) 


i6 


EVERYBOY 

Awakening    of    Everyboy 
Nature 


Words  and  Music  by 
CARL  WILMORE 


Sleep -7  head    of      sleep -y     lad,    Thoudits and  Een-ses  slum-ber- ing, 

NATURE  (sings) 

Sleepy  head  of  sleepy  lad, 

Thoughts  and  senses  slumbering, 
Neither  glad  and  neither  sad, 

Night's   long   hours   you're   numbering; 
Still  you've  slept  quite  long  enough, 

Baby  dreams  will  bore  you : 
Ope  your  eyes  and  look  about — 
All  the  world's  before  you ! 
VOICES  Nature  is  calling — Awake! 


Every -Boy 

Nature 


Words  and   Music  by 
CARL  WILMORE 


Kv  -  'ry  -  boy!       Ev  -  ry  -   boy  I  Cause  of    grief   and  cause     of       joy. 

NATURE  (The  gloom  slowly  dispels) 

Ev'ryboy ! 
Ev'ryboy ! 

Cause  of  grief,  and  cause  of  joy! 

Full  of  fairy  fancies, 

Full  of  dreams  and  dances ! 
Sleepyhead ! 
Sleepyhead! 


EVERYBOY  17 

Brown  or  black  or  blond  or  red! 
Time  you  were   awaking, 
Sweet  Dawn  of  Youth  is  breaking! 
VOICES 
Ev'ryboy ! 
Ev'ryboy ! 

Cause  of  grief,  and  cause  of  joy! 
Full  of  fairy  fancies, 
Full  of  dreams  and  dances ! 
Sleepyhead! 
Sleepyhead ! 

Brown  or  black  or  blond  or  red ! 
Time  you  were  awaking. 
Baby  dreams  forsaking, 
Dawn  of  Youth  is  breaking. 
Boy! 
Awake  I 
Awake ! 
Awake ! 

Ev'ryboy ! 
(Hearing  is  a  young  boy  or  girl  in  tights, 
with  very  big  ears.  He  carries  a  bag  marked  ''Sounds 
of  all  kinds.*'  He  plays  on  different  instruments  dur- 
ing the  play,  and  makes,  at  his  pleasure,  noises  that 
suit  the  moment.  Touch  is  in  the  same  red  or  green 
costume,  as  are  all  the  Senses.  Smell  wears  a  mask 
and  has  a  huge  red  nose.  In  his  hand  he  holds  two 
bottles,  on  one  of  which  is  written  "Good  Smell"  and 
on  the  other  "Bad  Smell."    Taste  also  wears  a  mask. 


I 8  EVERYBOY 

and  has  a  long  tongue  which   he  blows  out  and  in 
as  occasion  requires,  and  each  time  after  the  tongue  is 
seen  he  shuts  up  his  lips  with  a  loud  smack.     Sight 
wears  big  goggles,  and  carries  field  glasses  strapped 
over  his  shoulder.    Some  of  the  Senses  also  carrying 
appropriate  presents.     They  should  be  grotesque  and 
amusing.   The  Senses  must  all  be  wide-awake  and  alert 
in  their  conversation  and  action.    They  play  tricks  dur- 
ing the  act.   Hearing  plays  the  flute.    The  five  Senses 
dance  about  Everyboy.    JVhen  not  speaking  or  other- 
wise engaged,  they  sit  cross-legged  at  the  back  of  the 
stage.)    Nature  and  Knowledge  look  on. 
THE   FIVE   SENSES    We    are    Everyboy's    five 
senses.     We  are  going  to  make  him  into   a   real 
boy.    ( To  Everyboy)  We  are  going  to  wake  you 
up.   (They  bow  as  Everyboy  climbs  from  poppy.) 
TOUCH  (Turning  to  Everyboy)  I  am  your  friend, 
be  not  afraid  Everyboy.    I  have  brought  you  some 
presents,    feel  them.    Here   are  smooth  silk,   soft 
velvet;  feel  the  difference  (handing  them  to  Every- 
boy). And  here  are  a  round  ball  and  cube.    I  give 
you  the  wonderful  power  of  touch. 
EVERYBOY  Very  good  you  are;  yes,  each  present 
feels  quite   different.    How   strange !   A  thousand 
thanks!    What  fun  I  shall  have  with  this  splendid 
gift! 
SIGHT  (A  sharp,  keen  fellow,  touching  Everyboy' s 
eyes)   Now  you  can  see  !   I  have  brought  you  gems, 
all  the  colors  of  the  rainbow.     Here  are  jewels, 
bright  with  red  and  green,  blue  and  purple,  and 


EVERYBOY  19 

if    you    look    about    you    will    see    these    colors 
everywhere,  in  the  sky,  in  the  trees,   and  in  the 
flowers.     The  gift  of  sight  is  a  precious  one,  and 
you  must  be  careful  of  it.     It  will  save  you  many 
a  fall.    {Hands  glasses  to  Everyboy.)    These  will 
help  you  see  even  farther  and  clearer. 
EVERYBOY  (Puts  glasses  to  his  eyes  and  looks  into 
audience.)     Great,   what   a   fine   old   world !    Oh, 
thanks!    (This  is  a  good  moment  for  jokes  about 
people  in  the  audience.) 
SIGHT    You  will  find  all  kinds  of  interesting  peo- 
ple, too,  in  this  head  of  yours,  if  you  will  turn  and 
look  at  them.     {He  points.  Lights  grow  brighter.) 
Nature,  Art,   Greedy  Boy,   Miss  Conceit,  Anger, 
Obedience,  Truth.     But  the  most  important  person 
to  be  in  your  head  isn't  there.     He's  outside.    We 
must  get  him  in — he's  Knowledge.     He  is  Mon- 
arch of  the  City  of  Thought,  in  the  Kingdom  of 
Delight.     You  had  better  take  a  good  look  at  him. 
(  They  bow  as  they  are  pointed  out  and  then  they 
disappear  in  their  cells.    The  characters  go  in  and  out 
of   their   cells   as   they   are   wanted.       Nature   and 
Knowledge  sit  in  the  chairs  on  either  side  of  the  stage 
when  not  acting.    Hearing  gives  a  blast  of  his  trum- 
pet.) 

HEARING    How  do  you  like  that? 
EVERYBOY  Jolly!  Give  us  another. 
HEARING  I  have  many  instruments  that  make  mu- 
sic.   I  can  make  gay  times  and  sad  ones,  and  there 


20  EVERYBOY 

are  many  other  sounds.  Listen  to  the  birds.  If 
you  prick  up  your  ears  you  will  hear  strange  melo- 
dies.    {He  zvhistles  like  a  bird.) 

EVERYBOY  How  pretty!    How  do  you  do  it? 

HEARING  Listen  again — insects  this  time — do  you 
hear  them  buzzing? 

EVERYBOY  Sure!  I  hope  it  won't  bite.  I  hear 
him  all  right. 

HEARING  Do  you  know  what  this  Is  ?  ( Growls  like 
a  bear.) 

EVERYBOY  Jiminy!    It  frightens  me! 

HEARING  It's  a  bear!  {The  bird,  mosquito  and 
bear  can  appear  on  the  stag€  and  dance,  if  wanted. 
They  try  to  attack  Every  boy.  Hearing  protects 
him.) 

HEARING  They  have  all  gone  now.  Here  comes 
my  brother  Smell  with  his  gifts. 

SMELL  {Dances  impishly  before  Every  boy,  flourish- 
ing his  bottles  of  good  and  bad  smells.)  You  can 
have  any  smell  you  want — bad  odors  from  the 
town.  If  you  insist,  perfume  from  the  garden,  the 
freshness  of  the  mountain  air,  or  the  cool  earthy 
breath  of  the  woods.  Try  this — this  is  musk,  a 
fine  lady  must  have  been  about.  (Makes  a  face.) 
Here's  bay  rum — a  fine  gentleman's  been  about. 
This  is  incense.     That's  the  odor  of  sanctity. 

EVERYBOY  (Sniffing)  What  a  good  smell!  I 
can't  get  enough  of  it. 

TASTE  {Carrying  a  basket,  comes  forward,  elbowing 


EVERYBOY 


21 


Smell  aside  smacking  his  lips,  and  putting  his  tongue 
out  and  in.)  Here  are  things  for  you  to  taste — 
animal  and  vegetable,  solids  and  liquids,  some  from 
nature,  some  made  by  man.  {Holds  up  stick  of 
candy  in  one  hand,  and  a  lemon  in  the  other.) 
Sweet  and  sour.  {Gives  basket  to  Everyboy.)  But 
beware !  you  must  not  eat  all  these  at  one  time, 
you  know. 

EVERYBOY  {Drinks)  Great!  that's  good.  (Be- 
gins to  eat.)  Bully !  I  like  what  you  have  brought 
me.  I  want  a  thousand  of  them.  (Holds  up  a  bun. 
Touch  calls  Greedy  Boy,  who  waddles  out  of  his 
cell  and  up  to  Everyboy,  stuping  food  into  his 
mouth  with  both  hands;  he  looks  an  absurd  fat  fig- 
ure, his  pockets  bursting  with  buns.  Greedy  Boy 
always  talks  with  his  mouth  full.  He  is  like  the  fat 
boy  you  knew  at  school.) 

EVERYBOY  What  a  funny  boy!  Shall  I  make 
friends  with  you?  What's  your  name,  anyway? 

GREEDY  BOY    I  am  just  Greedy  Boy. 


Greedy  Boy 


n'ords  and   Music   by 
CARL  UTLMORE 


love       to       gob-ble  up        all        I       see,  And  when  Ive     guz-zKd  up 


all         iu     sight.  My       lit        tic       tum-my  feels      just    bout    right! 


22  EVERYBOY 

GREEDY  BOY  (sings) 

I'm  just  as  greedy  as  I  can  be, 
I  love  to  gobble  up  all  I  see; 

When  I  have  guzzled  up  all  In  sight, 

My  little  tummy  feels  just  'bout  right! 
I  just  love  pudd'n',  and  pie,  and  prunes, 
And  jam,  and  jelly,  and  macaroons, 

And  cake,  and  custard,  and  cream,  and  crust. 

If  I  don't  stop  it,  some  day  I'll  bust! 
Umm! 

People  call  me  Greedy  Boy, 
Eating  is  my  only  joy. 

But  no  matter  how  I  stuff, 
I  can't  seem  to  get  enough ! 
You  may  think  I've  got  a  gall, 
'Cause  I  always  want  it  all : 
That's  why  people  always  call  me 
Greedy,  Greedy  Boy ! 
Umm ! 

Greedy,  Greedy  Boy  I 
Umm! 

EVERYBOY  So  you  are  Greedy  Boy,  are  you?  And 
I  s'pose  you've  come  because  I  asked  for  more  than 
is  good  for  me.     Are  buns  your  favorites,  too? 

GREEDY  BOY  I  like  all  good  things  to  eat.  Don't 
you?  Follow  me  and  I  will  take  you  to  Greedy 
Land,  where  there  is  a  palace  of  colored  candies 


EVERYBOY  23 

that  sits  on  a  high  hill  of  vanilla  ice  cream.    There 

is  a  wall  around  the  palace  grounds,  too,  and  it  is 

made  of  buns. 
EVERYBOY     Well,  I  should  just  like  to  have  a 

peep  in  there.    What  a  great  place  it  must  be! 
TOUCH    If  you  follow  him  you  will  grow  fat  and 

dull.      Beware !      The   way   to   the    Kingdom   of 

Delight  does  not  lie  through  Greedy  Land. 
GREEDY  BOY     Don't  pay  any  attention  to  him. 

I'll    tell    you    more    about    Greedy    Land.      (He 

recites.) 

The  moon  is  a  green  apple, 

The  sun  is  a  squash  pie; 
With  them  I  like  to  grapple; 

I'll  eat  them  till  I  die; 
I  sometimes  have  an  ache, 

So  eat,  please,  for  my  sake. 

My  hills  are  made  of  candy 

And  roads  are  made  of  gum, 
My  country  it  is  dandy, 

It's  there  we  make  things  hum; 
Oh,  go  to  Greedy  Land, 

I  tell  you  it  is  grand. 

I'm  a  greedy  boy  and  I  don't  care  a  whoop ! 
I  like  my  buns  and  I  like  my  soup, 
I  like  my  cream  and  I  like  my  cake, 
I'm  a  rollicking,  frollicking,  fat  old  fake! 


24  EVERYBOY 

GREEDY  BOY  If  you  like  hazel  nuts  you  had 
better  start  to  gather  them,  for  there  Is  a  witch 
who  lives  by  the  Blackwater  River,  and  she  gathers 
them  every  night,  so  after  the  first  of  September 
there  is  not  one  left. 

(Everyboy  tries  different  things  and  is  pleased 
or  disgusted  as  the  case  may  be,  while  Taste  jumps 
about  delightedly,  sticking  his  tongue  in  and  out.) 
EVERYBOY  (Looks  at  Greedy  Boy  thoughtfully) 
But  if  I  go  on  eating  and  eating  I  shall  be  fat  like 
you,    and   I   shall  never  get  to  the   Kingdom   of 
Delight,  where  the  clever  people  live.    (Holds  on 
to  his  sides.)     Oh  dear,  oh  dear!     I  have  a  pain 
already.    Where  is  my  mother?     I  don't  want  you 
for  a  friend  at  all — get  out  of  here,  you  stupid 
fellow !    (Boxes  with  Greedy  Boy,  who  rolls  into  a 
corner.     Touch  is  much  excited  and  dances  about. 
Everyboy  feels  his  own  arms.)     Pretty  good  mus- 
cles !     (Throws  out  his  chest,  swaggers  about.) 
{Miss  Conceit  flounces  forward,  a  thin  old  maid 
absurdly  dressed;  she  courtesies,  bridles  and  smirks.) 
EVERYBOY  Who  are  you?  Well,  can't  you  speak? 
TOUCH     She  is  too  stuck-up  to  speak.     She  has 
come  because  you  are  too  proud  of  your  muscles. 
Her  name  is  Conceit,  and  she  is  worse  even  than 
Greedy  Boy.     You  will  never  get  anywhere  if  you 
follow  her,  Everyboy. 
MISS  CONCEIT  (Sings) 
I    freely  confess  that  I'm   rather  conceited: 


EVERYBOY  25 

I  seldom  reply  when  by  people  I'm  greeted; 

I  think  I'm  above  any  argument  heated, 

The  worse  I  behave,  all  the  better  I'm  treated; 

It's  scarcely  worth  while  to  be  pleasant  to  people, 

I  carry  my  nose  in  the  air,  like  a  steeple. 

There's  some  who  may  say  that  I  haven't  much  sense, 

But  there's  none  will  deny  that  my  head  is  immense  1 

But  why  should  I  care  for  the  scorn  of  the  rest? 
Am  I  not  quite  as  elite  as  the  best? 

The  little  that  there  is  to  know,  I  think  I  know  it  all; 
And  common  folks,  like  mice  and  snails,  to  me  seem 

very  small; 
Of  course,  I  know  I'm  beautiful:  so  clever  and  so 

bright — 
I  frequently  feel  sorry  for  the  girl  who  is  a  fright  I 
And  when  I  see  my  other  friends,  so  stale  and  so 

passe, 
I  thank  my  stars  that  I  am  not  of  ordinary  clay ! 
It's  true :  my  winning  ways,  my  smile,  my  style — ■ 
straight  from  Paree — 
Are  perfect! 
And  I  often  think — to  myself — why  can't  they  be  like 

me? 
EVERYBOY   (Picks   up  glasses,   as  Miss   Conceit 
flounces  away)     Goodness  gracious,  what  a  world 
this  is !    Why,  I  see  other  people  here.    Who  are 
those  pretty  girls  in  gray? 


26  EVERYBOY 

(Touch  dances  over  to   Truth  and  Obedience; 
they  are  two  Quaker  maidens  dressed  in  gray.) 
TRUTH  (Shaking  her  finger  at  Everyboy)     Thee 

must  never  tell  a  lie,  little  Everyboy. 
EVERYBOY  Oh,  you  are  Truth,  are  you?    Then 

you're  not  always  at  the  bottom  of  the  well,  as  they 

say  you  are.  You're  a  first-class  girl,  almost  as  good 

as  a  boy.    Stay  here,  I  want  to  make  friends  with 

you. 
OBEDIENCE    {With   a   stem   look)      Mind   thy 

mother,  child;  didn't  thy  mother  tell  thee  to  let 

Conceit   and   Greedy   Boy   alone? 

(Duet  by  Truth  and  Obedience.) 

TRUTH 

We  are  very  respectable  people. 
Not  half  as  bad  as  we're  painted; 
OBEDIENCE 

Yet  there's  very  few  people  who  know  us 
Or  try  to  become  acquainted; 

TRUTH 

We're  not  a  bit  backward  and  not  a  bit  slow — 

OBEDIENCE 

Yet,  somehow  or  other,  we're  not  in  the  go — 

TRUTH 

To  tell  you  the  truth,  after  all  that  we  know, 
We're  not  a  bit  sorry  it's  so  I 
Quite  so! 


EVERYBOY  27 

OBEDIENCE 

Some  folks  think  we  are  simply  atrocious, 
By  them  we're  scornfully  slighted: 
TRUTH 

But,  you  see,  it  would  hardly  be  proper 
To  go  where  we're  not  invited ! 
OBEDIENCE 

It  would  be  most  impolite 

To  go  where  we're  not  invited! 
BOTH 

Truth  is  a  very  common  thing. 

And  yet  it's  very  rare; 
Obedience  lives  next  door  to  Truth, 
But  very  few  know  where, 
Know  where ! 
TRUTH 

To  those  who  don't  know  us 
We're  stern  and  severe; 
OBEDIENCE 

Our  friends  always  think  we  are  darling. 
Darling  and  dear; 
TRUTH 

We're  very  good  company,  lots  of  fun, 
OBEDIENCE 

Yet  some,  when  they  see  us,  begin  to  run. 
TRUTH 

We  can't  understand  this  desire  to  shun — 
BOTH 

Why  do  people  declare  we  bore? 


28  EVERYBOY 

TRUTH 

She— 
OBEDIENCE 

— and  my  sister — 

BOTH 

Who  lives  next  door! 

EVERYBOY    Oh,  fudge!  you  are  too  slow! 

(Everyboy    looks    through    glasses    at    Know- 
ledge.) 

KNOWLEDGE  (center)  See,  this  Is  the  key  to  the 
Kingdom  of  Delight !  It  Isn't  every  boy  who 
knows  enough  to  look  for  me;  they  often  have 
to  be  picked  up  and  brought  to  me  by  main  force. 
You  may  think  you're  having  a  good  time,  but 
you  are  getting  too  old  for  tomfoolery.  Come 
with  me  and  I  will  Introduce  you  to  people  who 
dwell  In  my  Kingdom  of  Delight.  You  will  find 
Robinson  Crusoe  there,  and  King  Arthur  with  his 
knights,  and  many  others  whom  you  will  like  to 
know. 

EVERYBOY  That  sounds  rather  well.  (To 
Obedience)  Tell  me  what  you  know  of  this 
Knowledge. 

OBEDIENCE   He  is  a  very  wise  man,  Everyboy. 

EVERYBOY  (To  the  Senses)  Is  he  a  great  friend 
of  yours? 

SENSES  {Getting  up  and  bowing  in  a  row)  Yes,  he 
often  helps  us. 

GREEDY  BOY    Well,  he's  no  friend  of  mine;  you 


EVERYBOY  29 

don't  want  to  go  with  him,  Everyboy.  He  is  tire- 
some and  keeps  you  at  work,  all  day  long,  they  say, 
and  as  for  eating — why,  I  don't  believe  he  knows 
what  it  is  to  make  a  good  square  meal ! 

TRUTH  Don't  listen  to  Greedy  Boy.  The  King- 
dom of  Delight  is  a  wonderful  place.  You  would 
have  a  good  time  there.  There  boys  grow  into 
interesting  men. 

GREEDY  BOY  {Sobs)  I  beg  you  not  to  go  with 
him,  Everyboy !  Just  think  of  the  buns  you  will 
miss !    And  I  shall  have  to  stay  behind. 

EVERYBOY  Buns!  I  won't  have  buns  there?  I 
don't  believe  I  will  go.    It's  pretty  good  right  here. 

KNOWLEDGE  But  I  can  tell  you  such  beautiful 
stories,  if  you  will  only  come  with  me — all  about 
Bluebeard  and  Jack  the  Giant  Killer  and  Treasure 
Island — you  will  like  them  much  better  than  buns. 
You  won't  need  to  come  alone,  either.  The  Senses 
will  follow,  I  know;  they  are  fine  fellows. 

EVERYBOY  What  do  you  think  about  my  going 
with  Knowledge  to  this  Kingdom  of  Delight? 

HEARING  If  you  really  like  him  and  he  likes  you, 
some  day  you  may  become  a  great  man. 

EVERYBOY   Maybe  I'd  better  think  about  it,  then. 

KNOWLEDGE  But,  after  all,  I  don't  know 
whether  you  can  follow  me  very  far.  You  haven't 
waked  up  half  your  thoughts,  yet.  I  see  them 
standing  there.  Don't  you  know  they  ought  to 
be  your  servants,  everyone  of  them?  Are  you 
master?    You  can't  go  with  me  until  you  are. 


30  EVERYBOY 

EVERY  BOY  Oh  dear!  oh  dear!  Now  that  you 
think  I  can't  go  with  you,  of  course  I  want  to  go 
dreadfully  to  see  what  your  books  can  tell  me ! 

KNOWLEDGE  Yes,  but  you  must  learn  some 
lessons  first.  For  one  thing,  your  spelling  is  very 
bad,  I  know. 

EVERYBOY  Spelling  is  just  too  stupid  for  any- 
thing! If  I  must  work,  I  think  you  might  give  me 
something  more  interesting  than  that  to  do. 
(Looks  about,  scratches  his  head.)  But  isn't  this 
a  queer  state  of  affairs?  Here  I  am  looking  into 
my  own  head  and  watching  my  own  thoughts  take 
shape    and   come   to   life! 

(  Touch  is  dancing  about,   Thoughts  are  getting 

lively.    Greedy  Boy  and  Miss  Conceit  push  Truth  and 

Obedience  to  one  side.) 

(Art  is  a  girl,  dressed  in  Greek  robes,  with  a 

laurel  wreath  upon  her  head.    Knowledge  introduces 

her  to  Everyboy.    She  dances  and  afterzvards  offers  a 

paint   brush   and   then   a   chisel   to   Everyboy,    who 

refuses  to  take  them.) 

ART  Then  try  my  pen,  Everyboy.  I  am  sure  you 
can  write.  Write  me  an  essay  on  Girls,  to  begin 
with ! 

(Everyboy   takes  pen   and  paper  and  scribbles 

and  smiles,  then  returns  them  to  Art  as  Miss  Conceit 

flounces  forward  again  and  courtesies.) 

EVERYBOY  This  is  what  a  naughty  boy  said  about 
girls : 


EVERYBOY  31 

"Girls  is  sisters  of  boys  and  has  long  hare,  wares 
dresses  and  powder,  fust  girl  was  called  Christmas 
Eve  though  I  never  could  tell  why.  Most  every  fam- 
ily has  one  girl  and  some  of  'em  that  is  in  hard  luck 
has  two  or  three;  we  have  a  girl  of  ours  who  is  my 
sister.  Girls  grow  older  and  get  younger.  My  sister 
has  been  twenty-five  for  three  years,  and  some  day 
we  may  be  twins.  Girls  play  the  pianner  and  talk 
about  each  other.  Fat  girls  want  to  be  thin,  and  thin 
girls  want  to  be  fat  and  all  of  'em  want  to  marry 
doods.  Why  the  Lord  made  girls  nobody  knows,  but 
I  think  it  were  to  go  to  church  and  eat  ice  cream. 
There  is  three  kinds  of  girls — brunnet  girls,  blond 
girls  and  them  that  has  money." 

(Art  laughs.) 

ART  Perhaps  you  can  play,  Everyboy,  like  this. 
(Gives  harp  solo.) 

EVERYBOY  (tries,  and  stamps  his  foot  angrily.) 
By  jinks!  In  my  hands  it  makes  nothing  but  bad 
noises. 

(Hearing  is  much  excited.    Touch  wakes  Anger 

and  he  gives  sword  dance.    Costume  of  red  and  gold 

tights  with  flames  hanging  from  legs.) 

TRUTH  Why  does  thee  allow  Anger  to  wake  up 
in  thee?  He  makes  trouble  wherever  he  goes,  and 
so  do  Conceit  and  Greedy  Boy.  They  are  not  good 
companions.  Send  them  away.  Anger  is  very  dan- 
gerous, he  will  never  lead  thee  to  the  Kingdom  of 
Delight. 


32  EVERYBOY 

ANGER  (who  is  excitable)  You  don't  want  me? 
Perhaps  you  think  I  like  Truth  and  Obedience  any 
better  than  they  like  me!  {He  stamps  his  foot  and 
shakes  his  fist  and  dances.) 

(Everyboy  holds  his  head  in  his  hands.) 

GREEDY  BOY  O,  don't  worry!  What's  the  use? 
Let's  have  some  fun  right  now  and  lots  of  things 
to  eat. 

EVERYBOY  I  wonder  if  your  kind  of  fun  is  worth 
while.    (Stamps  his  foot.   Greedy  Boy  turns  away.) 

ANGER  If  Greedy  Boy  does  not  play  with  you,  I  at 
least  come  quickly  at  your  bidding,  Everyboy. 

EVERYBOY  Yes  (sharply),  quickly  and  often,  and 
generally  when  I  am  not  looking  for  you.  You  al- 
ways get  me  into  trouble.  Where  are  Obedience 
and  Truth? 

GREEDY  BOY  I  was  your  friend  once,  and  I  heard 
you  call  the  Virtues  tiresome.  Is  it  possible  that  my 
master  no  longer  finds  pleasure  in  my  company 
either?  To  be  sure,  the  very  young  and  the  very 
old  are  my  especial  friends. 

EVERYBOY  You  made  me  ill  once,  with  all  your 
food  and  drink. 

GREEDY  BOY  (with  finger  in  his  mouth)  I  wish 
I  had  some  green  apples  this  very  minute. 

(Anger  hands  out  fencing  swords.  All  the  actors 

are  on  the  stage,  noise  and  movement.) 

EVERYBOY  I  am  hungry,  too.  I  would  like  an 
apple  myself.     (Greedy  Boy  beams  and  gives  an 


EVERYBOY  33 

apple  to  Everyboy,  who  stands  apart  eating,  and 

looks  on  the  antics  of  the  others.    The  Virtues  and 

Vices  fence.    Colored  lights.) 
EVERYBOY  (Throwing  the  apple  away)    Who  is 

my  friend?     Who  is  my  enemy?     The  Vices  are 

fighting  again,  and  in  earnest  this  time. 
(Confusion.) 
GREEDY  BOY  I'll  stuff  Everyboy  with  mushrooms 

till  he  looks  like  a  pig. 
CONCEIT     I'll  puff  him  up   with  conceit  till   he 

looks  like  a  frog. 
ANGER     I'll  redden  his  face  and  put  fire  in  his  eyes 

till  he  looks  like  a  dragon. 

(They  gather  around  him  and  dance  in  a  ring, 
pulling  him  about.) 
NATURE    The  time  has  come,  Everyboy,  for  you 

to  choose  your  friends  and  the  road  you  wish  to 

travel. 
GREEDY  BOY    Come  with  us,  Everyboy,  we  are 

the  Vices.    We  will  lead  you  to  every  pleasure. 
TRUTH    Beware!    Thee  must  stand  by  us,  Every- 
boy.   Virtues  wear  best.    Try  us  and  thee  will  see. 
EVERYBOY    (links    arms   with   Greedy   Boy   and 

Conceit  and  dances.)     I  guess  these  are  my  best 

friends.     After  all,  a  fellow  must  have  some  fun. 

KNOWLEDGE     Take  care,  Everyboy!     You  do 

not  know  what  you  are  doing.     I  know  them  well. 
{Pointing.)     They  are  a  bad  lot,  they  will  lead  you 


34  EVERYBOY 

astray.     Listen,  boy.    They  are  already  plotting  to 

kill  you. 
ANGER  (laughing  exultantly)     He's  ours  already ! 

The  Vices  have  him !     You  can't  stop  our  taking 

him  !     (They  gather  around  Every  boy,  clutching  at 

him.) 
EVERYBOY  What  is  the  matter?    What  is  all  this 

about? 
THE  VICES    He's  ours.    Who  can  take  him  from 

us?    We  won't  waste  time.     We  are  hungry.     Let 

us  kill  him  now ! 

(Anger  draws  a  knife.     Everyboy  rushes  about 
the  stage  with  the  Vices  after  him.) 
ANGER    Who  can  save  him  from  us? 

(  The  Virtues  remain  motionless.) 
NATURE  He  alone  can  save  himself. 
EVERYBOY    Help!  Help! 
KNOWLEDGE     Did   I   hear  you  calling?     This 

comes  of  letting  your  bad  thoughts  master  you. 
EVERYBOY     My  thoughts  do  not  obey  me,  but  I 

will  be  master  here.      (He  shakes  off  the  Vices, 

takes  the  knife  and  throws  it  away.) 

(  The  Vices  slink  away  and  turn  their  backs  on 
the  audience.    All  the  characters  gather,  center.) 
KNOWLEDGE     You  have  learned  your  first  les- 
son.    Here  is  your  reward — the  golden  key  to  the 

Kingdom  of  Delight.     (Hands  Everyboy  the  key.) 
(Tableau:     Everyboy,  center;  Knowledge  and 
Nature  on  either  side.    Chorus  sings :) 


EVERYBOY 


35 


FINALE 

Ev'ryboy ! 
Ev'ryboy ! 

Cause  of  grief,  and  cause  of  joy! 
Full  of  fairy  fancies, 
Full  of  dreams  and  dances! 
Sleepyhead ! 
Sleepyhead! 

Brown  or  black  or  blond  or  red! 
Time  you  were  awaking. 
Baby  dreams  forsaking, 
Dawn  of  Youth  is  breaking, 
Boy! 
Awake ! 
Awake ! 
Awake ! 

Ev'ryboy ! 


CURTAIN. 


36  EVERYBOY 

(Knowledge    comes    before    the    curtain     and 
recites.) 

EPILOGUE 

Now  Everyboy  has  won  the  key, 
So  he  shall  sally  forth  with  me 
Unto  the  Kingdom  of  Delight, 
Which  after  all  is  here  to-night — 
And  everywhere,  if  you'll  but  look 
Within  the  leaves  of  this  my  book. 

So  now,  kind  friends,  the  play  is  done. 
Good  luck  and  health  to  every  one ! 


:-5i.t'g;-- 


KING  FOXY  OF  MUIR  GLACIER 


A  Play  in  Two  Scenes 


Characters : 

KING  FOXY,  King  of  Muir  Glacier.  j 

Old  Sour  Dough,  A  Hunter.  « 

Blue  Nose,      )/-!•/•/-> 

T  -T-      1     ^  Lhier  Unomes. 

Long  looth,  )  j 

The  Queen  of  the  Waterfall.  \ 

Chorus:   Gnomes,  Water  Fairies,  Indians  and  Bears. 

Songs  and  Dances  for  "King  Foxy" 

I 

Foxy's  Entrance  March,  by  the  Gnomes.  i 

Dance  by  Indians.  i 

Emergency,  by  Sour  Dough.  ■ 

Beware,  by  Long  Tooth.  ■ 

Dance  by  Gnomes. 

Water  Fairies'  Song. 

Foxy  Boy.  ! 


(Another  version  of  this  play,  adapted  to  elab- 
orate production,  with  additional  songs  and  stage 
directions,  may  he  had  in  manuscript  on  application.) 


KING       FOXY 


OF      M  U  i  R 
GLACIER 


Scene  One 


King  Foxy's  palace,  Muir  Glacier:  A  strange 
room  with  walls  of  ice  on  which  hang  skins  of  seal, 
otter  and  the  brown  glacier  bear,  heads  of  caribou, 
the  horned  bull  moose,  the  long  sword  of  the  narwhal 
and  the  plumes  of  the  eider  duck.  In  the  center  of 
the  cave  is  a  splendid  raised  throne  of  ice  like  marble 
lace.  As  the  curtain  rises,  the  room  is  empty,  but 
the  sound  of  singing  is  heard  outside.  A  troop  of 
gnomes  march  on,  singing: 

Foxy's  marching  to  his  hall, 
Let  us  loudly  to  him  call, 

Hip,  hip,  hurrah! 
Foxy  First  is  our  good  King, 
Come,  let's  make  the  icebergs  ring. 

Hip,  hip,  hurrah! 


42  KING  FOXY 

Foxy,  be  our  King  for  aye, 
Subjects  true  we'll  live  and  die. 

Hip,  hip,  hurrah! 
Foxy's  brave  as  he  can  be, 
Leading  us  to  victory. 

Hip,  hip,  hurrah! 

They  are  clad  in  different  colors  of  fox  fur,  with 
the  heads  dangling  over  their  foreheads  and  the  tails 
hanging  behind.  They  are  armed  with  brooms  and 
feather  dusters,  with  which  they  fall  to  work,  dusting 
each  other  as  often  as  the  room,  and  chasing  each 
other  with  the  brooms.  They  are  very  lively.  Martial 
music  is  heard,  and  King  Foxy  enters,  followed  by 
Blue  Nose  and  Long  Tooth,  chief  gnomes.  Foxy  is 
tall  and  handsome.  He  is  dressed  in  white  fox  and 
wears  a  crown  of  porcupine  quills  upon  his  head. 
Long  Tooth  and  Blue  Nose  are  especially  ugly  and 
comical.  The  gnomes  form  an  aisle  to  the  throne, 
through  which  Foxy  passes,  their  brooms  and  dusters 
held  at  "Present  Arms." 
FOXY  (on  his  throne)    I  am  tired  of  reigning  here 

alone,  boys.    What  do  you  think,  would  you  like  to 

have  a  queen? 
GNOMES     Hurrah !     Yes,  a  queen,  a  queen  ! 
FOXY  (looking  around)     But  first  we  must  make 

the  palace  more  beautiful — it  is  not  fine  enough 

for  a   queen — and   how   shall   we   make   it   more 

beautiful?    That  is  the  question. 


KING  FOXY  43 

GNOMES  Yes,  that  is  the  question.  ( They  wag 
their  heads.) 

{A  crash  is  heard,  and  from  a  crack  in  the  wall 

an  old  Sour  Dough  falls  into  the  ice  palace,  followed 

by  two  Indian  guides.) 

FOXY  (standing  up  on  his  throne  and  shaking  his 
fist)  Who  are  you,  and  what  are  you  doing  in  my 
kingdom  ? 

SOUR  DOUGH    I'm  just  an  old  sour  dough. 

FOXY    What  is  that? 

SOUR  DOUGH  Well,  call  me  a  pioneer — pros- 
pector, trapper.  I'll  answer  to  them  all.  (Foxy 
wags  his  head.)  I'm  a  white  man — a  hunter.  And 
these  {turning  to  the  Indians,  who  have  been  look- 
ing stealthily  about  and  making  signs  to  each 
other)  are  my  Indian  guides. 

FOXY  Oh,  that  is  what  you  are!  (He  barks  like 
a  fox  with  indignation.)  Why  don't  you  stay 
where  you  belong — you  and  your  Indians,  too? 
All  the  rest  of  the  earth's  been  given  to  you. 
You've  no  business  here;  this  is  our  country. 
(  The  gnomes  gather  about  and  shake  their  fists.) 

GNOMES  (in  shrill  voices)  This  is  our  country! 
( The  hunter  laughs  a  big,   hearty  laugh,   and 

draws  out  his  pipe  and  lights  it.) 

SOUR  DOUGH  Now  it's  my  turn  to  ask  questions. 
(Coolly)    Who  are  you,  I'd  like  to  know? 

FOXY  I  am  King  Foxy  the  First.  I  am  master  here. 
King  of  Muir  Glacier,  and  you  have  forced  your 


44  KING  FOXY 

way  into  my  kingdom  and  are  in  my  power.  You 
have  but  one  chance  for  your  life;  if  you  can  answer 
me  truly  a  certain  question  which  I  shall  ask  you, 
I  will  let  you  go  free.  If  you  cannot  answer  it 
you  shall  die ! 

( The  gnomes  hark  and  dance,  making  faces  at 

the  hunter. ) 

GNOMES    You  shall  die! 

SOUR  DOUGH  Well,  come  on  with  the  question. 
I  might  as  well  have  it  first  as  last. 

FOXY  (solemnly)     Where  is  the  Devil's  Thumb? 

SOUR  DOUGH  (smiles  and  smokes)  That's  an 
easy  one !  High  in  the  air,  far  to  the  south  where 
the  big  timber  grows,  where  it  is  black  at  night.  I 
ought  to  know,  for  I  live  at  the  foot  of  that  moun- 
tain— right  under  the  Devil's  Thumb ! 

FOXY  Good!  You  have  told  the  truth.  If  you  had 
lied,  that  block  of  ice  (pointing)  would  have  fallen 
and  crushed  you.  You  are  free !  But  sing  us  a 
song  before  you  go. 

SOUR  DOUGH  (Sings:) 

There's  quite  some  doubt  where  you'll  come  out 

When  you  are  off  on  jamborees! 
You  sometimes  land  on  foreign  strand 

And  often  cannot  find  your  keys! 
It's  always  well  to  have  your  wits  about  you  ! 
There's  also  doubt  where  you'll  come  out 


KING  FOXY 

When  after  game  you're  seeking — Gee ! 
Perhaps  you'll  land  on  icebergs  grand 

Where  Foxy  First  is  King,  you  see, 
And  so  you'd  better  have  your  wits  about  you, 

Because  in  an  emergency, 


45 


WbrJs  bry 
ISABEL  ANBERSON 
A         REFRAIN 

- — 1— 

Emerg 

ency 

.♦-— . — i. 

Music  by 
ARTHUR  WELD  Op  88 

i^i-y^J    r  iJ    N     r  «J  N    r  aJ    U     r    TH 

A  junk  - 

J^  \>  r — F — r — *-<^ 

er 

named 

Tunk- 

er  tripped  in 
,      1    1 

a 

=3= 

golf 

tH — 

bunk  -  er  ' 

-H — r- 

'No 

=1=1 

funk  •  er  said 

Tank 

-er 

-^ 1 

"am 

To 

1" 
fall 

-J — 

in 

m 

1M= 

a 

1  ^    r 

snare  vlien 

Im 

look  -  ing    for      bear,     Is      e   -   nough    to  make        an  -  y       one        cry!'I_ 


REFRAIN 

A  junker  named  Tunker  tripped  in  a  golf  bunker, 

"No  funker,"  said  Tunker,  "am  I ! 
To  fall  in  a  snare  when  I'm  looking  for  bear, 

Is  enough  to  make  anyone  cry ! 
I'm   no   flunker,"   said  Tunker,    "so   darn   that   old 
bunker ! 

I'll  now  get  a  bear  if  I  die!" 
So  he  turned  to  the  wood  just  as  quick  as  he  could, 

And  found  what  he  wanted,  close  by. 

FOXY  Good!   Begone!    Blue  Nose,  show  the  white 
man  the  way  out. 

(Bine  Nose  leads  the  way  oiil,  turning  somer- 
saults.) 


46  KING  FOXY 

SOURDOUGH  Many  thanks!   I'll  not  forget  King 

Foxy  the   First,    for  Foxy,   he's   a   good   fellow  I 

(Sour  Dough  waves  and  the  gnomes  zvave  back. 

He  disappears.     The  Indians  linger  and  look  about. 

They  begin  a  war  dance.) 

FOXY  What  are  you  up  to? 

INDIAN  Where  is  the  Siwash  chief  who  came  here 
years  ago? 

FOXY  He  is  dead.  I  found  him  dying  and  cared 
for  him;  and  before  he  went  to  the  Happy  Hunt- 
ing Ground  he  told  me  many  strange  tales  of  your 
people.  He  told  me  of  your  potlatches,  or  feasts, 
of  your  wigwams  and  totem  poles,  and  of  the  pipes 
of  peace  you  smoke. 

INDIANS  We  believe  your  story.  It  has  the  sound 
of  truth.  We  will  no  longer  dance  our  war  dance 
of  revenge.     (They  disappear.) 

GNOMES  We  don't  understand!  What's  it  all 
about? 

FOXY  (addressing  his  subjects  from  his  throne, 
while  they  squat  in  a  circle  about  him)  You  all 
remember  that  Indian  whom  they  were  seeking,  he 
was  the  first  man  we  had  ever  seen.  Before  he 
died,  he  whispered  his  great  secret  to  me  alone. 
"In  a  big  pine  tree  on  the  Devil's  Thumb,"  he 
muttered  faintly,  "is  a  poke  of  gold  and  bags  of 
sapphires,  amethysts  and  diamonds  by  the  hun- 
dreds." At  the  time  I  did  not  know  what  he 
meant  or  where  to  look  for  the  Devil's  Thumb,  but 


KING  FOXY 


47 


now  Old  Sour  Dough  has  given  me  a  clue,  and  I 
am  off  to  follow  It  if  it  leads  to  the  edge  of  the 
Arctic  Circle!     Quick,  boys,  make  me  an  iceboat! 
(King  Foxy  sings.) 


HEPRAIN 

Words  and  Mttsic  by 
ARTHUR  WELD  OpS8 

4t-  8  J   Mr  r  ir   r  ir  HJ  r  Ir  r  MIJ  HJ  J  IJJ  1 

Search  for— 

a  pine 

treel— 

on 

Dev  - 

ils     Thumb!   When   you  — ha\-e 

^^    J      J      l,^iJ 

^^ 

J  (.«     1 

^ 

^ 

r  ir  r  Ir  r  ir-M 

fotuid  it . 


,  keep    my     se    -    cret      mum And    dig    Jeep—  for      trea-sure._ 


Jew  -  els : and     gold , Wealth  with  -  out  mea-sure.  And  for-tune  _  un-told! 

{Blue  Nose  hands  to  the  gnomes  picks,  saws  and 
bars.)  If  I  succeed  in  finding  the  gems,  our  ice 
kingdom  will  be  the  loveliest  in  the  world.  I  wish 
to  make  my  palace  beautiful  for  a  queen,  a  queen! 
{Foxy  takes  up  a  pick  and  throws  a  bag  over  his 
shoulder,  as  if  ready  for  a  journey.) 
GNOMES  A  queen,  a  queen!  Three  cheers  for 
King  Foxy !    (They  start  off  the  stage,  singing :) 

Beware  of  the  snow-white  owl. 

You  know  he's  a  horrid  fowl; 

He  hoots  at  the  Northern  Light, 

And  he's  aching  to  pick  a  fight ! 

Beware  of  the  ocean   whale, 
He  carries  the  fishes'  mail; 
When  he  is  on  his  route 
He  acts  like  a  perfect  brute. 


48  KING  FOXY 

Beware  of  the  Arctic  bear, 
With  his  bristly,  gristly  hair ! 
When  he  stands  up  on  his  legs 
He  hugs  as  well  as  begs ! 

Beware  of  the  Indian  chief, 
He's  doubtless  an  awful  thief; 
But  when  you  know  him  well 
Strange  stories  he  can  tell. 

Beware  of  the  strange  white  man. 
With  his  rifle  and  his  pan; 
He's  more  than  a  hunter  bold. 
He's  after  our  precious  gold. 

CURTAIN 

{Between  scenes  first  and  second,  moving  pic- 
tures of  Foxy's  adventures  in  searching  for  the  treas- 
ure are  suggested.) 


KING  FOXY  49 

Scene  Two 

Same  as  Scene  i.  The  stage  is  dark,  but  colored 
lights  begin  appearing  here  and  there.  As  it  grows 
lighter,  the  gnomes  are  discovered  studding  the  pal- 
ace with  precious  jewels.  The  bears  give  a  dance. 
{At  the  end  of  the  dance.  Foxy  sitting  on  his 
throne  tells  of  his  adventures.) 

FOXY    And  that  ice  boat  you  made  for  me  to  sail 
upon,  which  was  as  big  as  a  man-of-war  to  begin 
with,   soon  dwindled  in  the  warm  current  to  the 
size  of  a  three-masted  schooner,  and  then  to  a  mere 
dory. 
LONG  TOOTH  (stopping  work  and  wiggling  his 
big  tooth)    How  dreadful !    But  we  couldn't  have 
foreseen  that. 
FOXY   No,  of  course  not.     It  was  about  time  to  do 
something,  however,  so  I  called  a  passing  gull  and 
hopped  upon  her  back.  She  did  her  best,   but  I 
was  too  heavy  for  her,  and  she  soon  dropped  me 
on  an  island.     And  there  I  was ! 
BLUE  NOSE  (stopping  work,  his  finger  on  his  big 
nose,  and  talking  through  his  nose)   And  what  mis- 
chief did  you  get  into  then? 
FOXY     I  hadn't  been  on  that  island  long  when  a 
greedy  black  bear  cub   came  poking  around   for 
roots.    He  didn't  know  who  I  was !     I  was  obliged 
to  defend  myself  with  a  prickly  stalk.     It  was  a 


50  KING  FOXY 

shameful  situation — I  hope  my  polar  bears  will 
never  hear  of  it.  Splash,  splash — I  found  myself 
at  the  edge  of  the  water. 

GNOMES   And  what  then? 

FOXY  A  halibut  came  to  my  assistance  this  time. 
He  was  a  man  of  the  world — he  recognized  me 
at  once.  He  ferried  me  over  to  the  mainland  on 
his  flat  back,  and  swam  away  without  even  waiting 
to  be  thanked.  And  I  found  myself  right  at  the 
foot  of  the  Devil's  Thumb. 

BLUE  NOSE  Did  you  see  Old  Sour  Dough,  by  any 
chance  ? 

FOXY  I  did  indeed.  But  first  I  searched  for  the 
hidden  treasure.  Time  and  again  I  thought  the 
old  fellow  had  tricked  me,  but  finally  I  came  to 
the  great  pine  tree,  and  in  its  hollow  heart  I  found 
the  poke  of  gold  and  the  bags  of  jewels. 

GNOMES    Hurrah  for  King  Foxy ! 

FOXY  And  then  I  discovered  Old  Sour  Dough's 
cabin  and  the  old  man  himself. 

LONG  TOOTH   And  what  did  he  have  to  say? 

7^0X7  "Hello '."said  he.  "Hello!"  said  I.  "What 
are  you  doing  in  my  country?"  he  asked.  "Trying 
to  get  out  of  it  as  fast  as  I  can,"  said  I.  "Here's 
a  poke  of  gold  for  you  if  you'll  sail  me  back  in  a 
hurry  to  Muir  Glacier."    So  here  I  am. 

GNOMES  How  wonderful  the  gems  have  made 
the  palace.  It  is  the  most  beautiful  palace  in  the 
world. 


KING  FOXY  51 

LONG  TOOTH  (wiggling  his  big  tooth)     It  still 

seems  to  lack  something. 
GNOMES    A  queen,  a  queen! 
BLUE  NOSE  (scornfully)     Who  ever  heard  of  a 

lady  gnome?     Foxy's  good  enough  for  me. 
LONG   TOOTH     There  must  be  one  somewhere, 

if  we  can  only  find  her. 
FOXY     This  palace  is  so  beautiful  it  really  ought 

to  have  a  queen. 
LONG  TOOTH   Perhaps  Mother  Nature  will  help 

us  to  find  one  if  we  please  her  by  making  other 

glaciers  beautiful,  too. 
BLUE  NOSE  (changing  his  mind  and  wagging  his 

head)    I  believe  she  will.    We  will  make  passage- 
ways and  tunnels  in  the  glaciers. 
LONG     TOOTH     (enthusiastically)     Everywhere 

we'll  put  sparkling  gems  to  please  her. 
BLUE  NOSE    But  look  here,  we  haven't  any  gems 

left;  what  shall  we  do? 

( The  gnomes  dance,  wail  and  groan  and  gnash 
their  teeth.) 
GNOMES    What  shall  we  do?     We  must  have  a 

queen !     And  Mother  Nature  is  the  only  one  to 

help  us. 
FOXY    Can't  we  find  a  queen  without  her  help? 
LONG  TOOTH     I  fear  we  need  it,  for  we  have 

already  looked  in  vain  for  a  fairy  queen   for  you 

while  you  were  looking  for  jewels. 
FOXY  The  linings  of  some  shells  are  quite  as  lovely 


52  KING  FOXY 

as  gems.     Perhaps  they  would  do.     So  you  have 

been  hunting  for  a  fairy  queen,  have  you? 

(An  albatross  flies  by.    Blue  Nose  aims  at  her 
with  his  bow  and  arrow.) 
FOXY    Stop  your  monkey-shines  and  tell  me  where 

you  went  in  your  search  for  the  fairies. 
BLUE  NOSE    We  went  inland  to  the  south. 
LONG  TOOTH    We  had  exciting  adventures,  too. 

I  had  a  ride  on  a  coyote  one  day. 
BLUE  NOSE    I  looked  into  an  eagle's  nest! 
LONG  TOOTH    I  found  the  mountain  goats  quite 

friendly.     I  pulled  their  beards. 
BLUE  NOSE  I  liked  best  to  play  hide  and  seek  with 

the  little  gophers. 

(Fairies  begin  to  appear,  quietly,  as  if  listening. 
They  drop  of  a  ledge,  one  by  one,  like  water.  They 
are  dressed  in  robes  of  flowing  green  covered  with 
sparkling  gems.     They  sing  as  they  come  on :) 

Dripping,  tripping,  over  the  ledges  slipping, 

And  wherever  we  jump. 

With  never  a  bump, 
It's  slipping  and  ripping  on  rocks  a-dripping. 

Dashing,  flashing,  into  the  valley  a-splashing, 

It's  over  we  hop 

And  it's  under  we  drop. 
Just  lashing  and  crashing  on  rocks  a-dashing. 


KING  FOXY 


53 


Words  by 
ISABEL  ANDERSON 
Allegretto 


Mugjc  by 
ARTHUR  WELD  Op  58 


We're    tbe    liv  -  ly  elve»    of 
Valse  Refrain 


wa-ter,     Ev  -  er  dane-ing     on  rain-bow8_ 


Drip  •  ping!  trip   -   plug!      O  -  ver      the         led     •     ges         skip  -  pinglAnd  vhere 


FOXY  (discovering  them)  Well,  I  never!  I  believe 
I  see  a  fairy  right  here — a  green  water  fairy! 
Why,  lots  of  them !    What  brought  you  here  ? 

A  FAIRY  We  came  because  we  heard  such  a  com- 
motion, and  we  saw  lights,  too.  Some  of  us  thought 
they  might  be  sparks  from  avalanches. 

(Each  fairy  chooses  a  gnome  and  begins  to 
dance.  Only  Blue  Nose  and  Long  Tooth  are  left 
without  partners.    Music:  "Dance  of  the  Fairies".) 

FOXY  (aside)  Will  anyone  fall  in  love  with  Blue 
Nose,  I  wonder?  I  have  a  better  looking  nose  than 
he  has;  besides,  he  talks  through  his.  (Descends 
from  his  throne  to  seek  a  fairy  for  himself.)  And 
Long  Tooth — will  he  find  a  wife?  How  his  huge 
tooth  wabbles !  (Swaggers.)  I'm  cleverer  than  the 
others  and  finer  looking,  too.  I  ought  to  have  the 
prettiest  fairy  there  is  ! 

(Finally  Blue  Nose  and  Long  Tooth  are  chosen 

by  the  two  remaining  fairies;  they  dance.   Foxy  looks 

about.) 


54  KING  FOXY 

FOXY  What!  Not  one  fairy  left  for  me!  (He 
stamps  his  foot  ivith  rage,  and  wags  his  head  ivith 
disappointment  until  a  porcupine  quill  drops  out  of 
his  crown.  Fairies  and  gnomes  lie  down  and  go  to 
sleep.  Lights  low.)  Why  should  I  be  punished  by 
not  finding  a  queen  ?  Can  it  be  that  I  have  not  done 
my  share  of  the  work?  It's  true  that  my  subjects 
have  been  at  work  studding  the  palace  with  jewels 
while  I  have  been  idly  sitting  on  my  throne  and 
talking.  {Looks  dejected.  Walks  up  and  down.) 
But  I  still  have  a  few  precious  stones  in  my  pockets. 
Now  I  will  work  while  my  subjects  sleep.  {He 
works) . 

(Colored  lights  begin  to  gleam  here  and  there. 
Suddenly  THE  QUEEN  OF  THE  WATERFALL 
appears  and  gives  her  hand  to  Foxy.  She  is  robed  in 
flowing  green  and  sparkling  ice  jewels,  and  she  wears 
a  crown  upon  her  head.  The  fairies  and  gnomes 
awake.    The  Queen  sings  :) 

I  am  the  Water  Queen,  my  home's  the  mountain, 

It's  a  wonderful  place; 
I  hide  in  nook  and  cranny  and  in  fountain, 

I  bow  deeply,  Your  Grace.     (She  courtesies.) 
It's  here  and  there  and  everywhere  I'm  dancing, 

Let  us  run  a  good  race ; 
O'er  rock  and  hill  and  valley  I  go  prancing, 

Come  along  and  give  chase. 


KING  FOXY 


55 


y^oria  by 
ISABEL  ANDERSON 
RKFRAIN 


Musio  hj 
ARTHUR  WELO  Op  8« 


OhI         hon  -    ey      boy  I     Sun      ny     boy  I        How      dye  do?  I 


•m  your    toy,  full      of    joy     \('hat       a        cun-ning   lit  -  tie       tox  -  eyi        Oh! 


don't  be  coy!  for-ryboyl    I   love    you!  Yes    I     love  jol-ty  boysbraveand    true 


FAIRIES    She  is  the  most  beautiful  of  us  all — our 

Queen  !  the  Queen  of  the  Waterfall ! 
FOXY    My  Queen,  the  most  precious  jewel  in  the 

palace! 

(Foxy  places  her  on  his  throne  and  sits  beside 
her.) 

GNOMES  AND  FAIRIES    Hail  to  our  King  and 
Queen !     Hail. 

CURTAIN 


LITTLE  DOUBT 
In  One  Act 


Characters 

Ginger. 
Little  Doubt. 
Good  Boy. 
Bad  Boy. 
Auntie  Owl  Eyes. 
Miss  Silver  Bell. 

Chorus:     Good   Fairies  and  Bad  Fairies. 

Time — Present.    Late  Afternoon. 


LITTLE 


DOUBT 


Scene :  A  white  forest;  snow  is  falling.  As  the 
curtain  rises  rabbits  are  seen  hopping  about  the  stage. 
(The  rabbits  may  be  omitted  if  not  wanted.) 
Twinkling  lights  here  and  there,  as  of  glistening 
snow  or  fairy  wands,  are  to  be  seen,  while  the  Sleigh 
Bell  Fairies  come  out  from  behind  bushes  and  dance 
with  bells  and  sing: 

Oh,  we  are  the  Sleigh  Bell  Fairies, 

Fairies  good  and  free. 
And  when  snow  feathers  flutter, 
We  dance  o'er  vale  and  lea. 


The  Sleigh  Bell  Fairies  are  good  fairies.  They 
are  dressed  in  silver  zvith  bells  as  bracelets  and  ank- 
lets. Electric  lights  can  be  seen  on  slippers  or  on 
wands,  or  in  the  hair.  The  rubbing  of  sandpaper  is 
also  used  when  they  appear,  to  represent  the  sound 
of  sleighs.    When  they  disappear  and  the  sounds  of 


6o  LITTLE  DOUBT 

song  and  bells  die  out  in  the  distance.  Auntie  Owl 
Eyes  runs  out  on  the  stage  laughing,  but  slips  and 
falls  down.  Ginger  and  the  other  three  boys  run 
after  her.  Ginger  catches  her.  They  are  all  throw- 
ing snowballs.  She  is  wearing  a  long  winter  coat  and 
furs.  Ginger  has  red  hair  and  is  dressed  in  sweater 
and  cap — boy's  winter  costume.  Ginger  is  a  human 
boy.  The  other  children  represent  his  instincts — 
Good  Boy  (Ginger's  good  instincts)  is  large  and 
blond,  and  should  be  dressed  in  white  fur  coat  and 
cap.  Bad  Boy  (Ginger's  bad  instincts)  is  small  and 
dark,  and  dressed  in  black.  Little  Doubt  is  lame  and 
humped  and  pale.  He  is  dressed  in  neutral  colors. 
His  manner  is  timid  and  undecided.  He  generally 
stands  on  one  foot  with  his  finger  in  his  mouth. 
GINGER  (excitedly)  Well,  I've  caught  you, 
Auntie  Owl  Eyes !  Wasn't  that  a  glorious  snow- 
ball  fight? 

(Doubt  and  Good  Boy  look  for  tracks  in  the 
snow.  Bad  Boy  mocks  Auntie  during  the  conversa- 
tion.    Ginger  pulls  Auntie  up.) 

AUNTIE  Yes,  you  did  catch  me.  I'll  catch  you  next 
time,  you  little  rascal.  Oh !  that  snowball  felt 
cold.  It  went  right  down  my  neck.  I'm  going 
home  now,  but  I'll  get  even  with  you  some  day. 
Ginger  Boy.  (Laughing.)  You  won't  be  afraid, 
will  you.  If  I  leave  you  here  in  the  woods  with 
only  your  instincts,  Good  Boy,  Bad  Boy  and  Little 
Doubt? 


LITTLE  DOUBT  6i 

(Doubt  clings  to  Ginger.) 
GINGER  (undecidedly)     I  don't  know,  I  might  be 

lonely;  I  might  be  afraid,  but  the  birds  perhaps 

will  keep  me  company.     I  suppose  maybe  there 

will  be  some  animals  to  play  with,  too. 
AUNTIE     Some  of  the  birds  fly  south  in  winter, 

remember,  and  some  of  the  animals  go  to  sleep, 

but  no  doubt  you  will  see  squirrels  and  snowbirds 

and  bunnies. 
GINGER   There  may  be  foxes  and  bears. 
AUNTIE     The  bears  will  be  sleeping  in  winter  in 

their  caves,  unless  you  wake  them  up.     Look  out; 

remember  the  strong  eat  the  weak. 
GINGER   (nodding  his  head)     That's  so,  I  had  a 

partridge  for  lunch.     Gee !  it  was  good. 
AUNTIE     You  eat  the  partridge  and  he  eats  the 

beetle.     Yes,  and  you  might  taste  good  to  a  bear, 

young  man. 

(Doubt  touches  him.) 
GINGER     I  think  perhaps  I  had  better  go  home 

with  you  after  all. 
AUNTIE     You,  afraid  of  a  bear,  a  great  big  boy 

like  you?     I  wonder  what  you  would  do  if  you 

did  see  one. 

(Bad  Boy  pretends  to  he  a  hear  and  dances.) 
GINGER    I'm  not  quite  sure;  I  might  run  away,  but 

perhaps  I  wouldn't. 
AUNTIE     Oh!  ugly  Little  Doubt  is  always  with 

you;  you'll  never  have  a  mind  of  your  own  until 


62  LITTLE  DOUBT 

you  get  rid  of  him.  (Doubt  stand  on  one  leg  and 

sticks  his  finger  near  Ginger.) 

(Good  Boy  and  Bad  Boy  cuff  each  other.) 
GINGER     I  have  Good  Boy  with  me,  too.     He's 

all  right. 
AUNTIE    But  I  see  Bad  Boy  there  also,  the  little 

black  imp. 

(Ginger  goes  over  to  them,  zvhile  Auntie  puts  on 
big  shell  spectacles  and  looks  at  tracks  in  snow.) 
GINGER   (addressing  the  boys)      I'll  be  jiggered; 

they  are  fighting.     What's  the  matter  anyway? 
GOOD  BOY    I  want  to  build  a  fort. 
BAD  BOY    By  jinks,  I'd  rather  snare  birds. 
DOUBT    What's  the  use  of  anything? 
GOOD  BOY  (disgustedly)    Doubt  just  stands  there 

like  a  bump  on  a  log.     Why  don't  you  have  some 

spunk  about  you? 

(Bad  Boy  slaps  Doubt.) 
GOOD  BOY  '  Bad  Boy  doesn't  play  fair  either. 
AUNTIE     Here,   look  here,   I  believe   I  see  bear 

tracks.     What  do  you  think?      (They  all  gather 

about.)    You  had  better  decide.  Ginger  Boy,  what 

you'd  do  if  you  met  a  bear. 
BAD  BOY   By  jinks,  he  would  eat  you  ! 

(Doubt  clings  to  Ginger.) 
AUNTIE  (laughs,  waves  and  runs  off  stage)    Well, 

I'm  going  now.      (The  boys  snowball  her  as  she 

goes.)     Remember,  I'll  get  even  with  you.  Ginger, 

for  snowballing  me. 


LITTLE  DOUBT  63 

(Ginger  looks  for  a  moment  as  though  he  would 
follow  her  until  Doubt  leaves  his  side.) 
GOOD  BOY    Perhaps  these  are  Fairies'  footprints. 

(They  follow  tracks  to  one  side  of  stage.) 
LITTLE  DOUBT  Aren't  you  too  old  to  believe  in 

fairies? 
GINGER     So  you  think  I'm  too  old  to  believe  in 
fairies.     You  question  everything.     You  spoil  all 
my  fun.     For  heaven's  sake,  can't  you  leave  me 
alone  a  minute? 
BAD  BOY    By  jinks,  lick  him!     Lick  him!     Fight 

him! 
GOOD  BOY  Oh,  do  get  rid  of  Doubt.    I  don't  like 

him  either. 
GINGER  (with  arm  uplifted  to  slap  him)    You  little 
shrimp!     You  half-baked  boy!     You  wishy-washy 
Little  Doubt! 
DOUBT  (whining)     You  red  head!     You  nincom- 
poop! 
GOOD  BOY  (He  whistles)    Come,  my  good  fairies, 
and  help  me  save  Ginger! 

(Sleigh  bells  are  heard  ringing — the  boys  stop 
fighting.  The  Sleigh  Bell  Fairies  appear  and  dance. 
Miss  Silverbell  sings  with  Good  Boy  and  Chorus  of 
fairies :) 

Oh,  look,  what  do  I  see, 
A  human  can  it  be? 
Come,   do  not  be  afraid, 
I  am  a  harmless  maid. 
Tinkle,  Tinkle. 


64  LITTLE  DOUBT 

I'm  only  a  good  fay, 
With  Good  Boy  I  do  play. 
Jump  in  the  fairy  ring, 
Come,  dance  with  us  and  sing, 
Tinkle,  Tinkle. 
REFRAINl 
The  snow  feathers  fall. 
The  bells  softly  call, 

Tinkle,  Tinkle,  Tinkle,  Tee ! 
The  sleighs  they  slip  by. 
And  seem  all  to  sigh. 

Tinkle,  Tinkle,  Tinkle,  Tee  ! 
(At  the  end  they  seize  Ginger  and  dance  about 
him,  but  Doubt  tries  to  cling  to  Ginger.) 
GINGER     I'll  be  jiggered,  I  never  saw  fairies  be- 
fore. 
FAIRIES    We  want  to  carry  you  off,  but  you  won't 
come,  all  on  account  of  Doubt,  the  worthless  fel- 
low. 
BAD  BOY     Leave  Good   Boy   alone,   too;   he's   a 

softy.  I'll  give  you  a  good  time. 
GINGER  (addressing  the  fairies)  Won't  you  speak 
and  tell  me  who  you  are.  You  are  Good  Boy's 
friends? 
FAIRIES  {step  forward;  Miss  Silverbell  speaks) 
Yes,  we  are  the  Sleighbell  Sisters.  We  were  human 
little  girls  once,  but  we  pulled  our  pet  white  rab- 
bits' ears  and  teased  them,  so  in  revenge  the  fairies 
made  our  ears  grow. 


LITTLE  DOUBT  65 

GINGER   What,  really?    That  is  strange. 
FAIRIES    When  we  glanced  in  the  mirror  one  day 
we  looked  so  very  funny  that  we  ran  away  from 
home  to  hide  ourselves. 
GINGER  Where  did  you  run  to,  and  what  happened 

then? 
FAIRIES     We  went  to  the  forest,  but  the   fairies 
turned  us  into  rabbits.    We  have  been  good,  how- 
ever, since,  so  afterwards  the  fairies  took  pity  on 
us  and  turned  us  into  the  Sleighbell  Sisters.     At 
last   we    have    become    good    fairies    and    follow 
Good  Boy,  and  perhaps  some  day  when  we  have 
done  many  kind  things  for  animals,  and  redeemed 
ourselves,  we  may  become  humans  again.    They  are 
the  best,  after  all. 
DOUBT    I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it. 
BAD  BOY    I  wish  they  had  all  been  imps. 
GINGER    I  would  like  to  see  an  imp,  just  for  larks. 
BAD  BOY   By  jinks,  I'm  an  imp,  an  imp!    Where  is 
my  band  of  imps?     (Whistles) 

(As    the   Bad  Fairies   appear   left,    the    Good 
Fairies  run   away   right.      The  Bad  Fairies  can   be 
dressed  as  imps,  or  witches,  or  hobgoblins.) 
BAD  FAIRIES   (scream)     We  want  Ginger. 
(Bad  Boy  sings  ''In  Shadow  Land".) 
This  is  the  Demon's  Shadow  Land 

And  I  am  very  bad. 
We  are  a  lively  little  band. 
Sometimes  we  seem  quite  mad! 


66  LITTLE  DOUBT 

In  shadow  land  'tis  somewhat  dark 

But  we  are  never  sad, 
'Tis  there  we  frolic,  spark  and  lark. 
Come  on  and  join  us,  lad. 
REFRAIN 
I'm  black  as  a  crow, 
They'll  say  I'm  your  foe, 
But  I'm  jolly,  by  golly, 

Hi,  ho ! 
I  may  be  an  imp. 
But  I  never  limp, 
And  I'm  jolly,  by  golly, 
Hi,  ho ! 
(They  dance  about  Ginger  at  the  end.    They  pull 
Doubt,  pinch  his  ears,  and  he  retires,  but  Good  Boy 
and  fairies  return  for  a  moment.     They  disappear.) 
BAD  BOY  By  jinks,  I'm  an  imp.    I'm  an  imp  ! 
GINGER  (siting  by  a  bush  in  the  snow  rubbing  his 
eyes)    You're  nothing  but  a  Bad  Boy.    The  fairies 
and  devils  have  gone.     Have  I  been  dreaming? 
Auntie    said   the    cold    sometimes    put    people    to 
sleep.     It  seemed  very  real. 

(He  stretches,  then  gets  up  and  looks  at  tracks 
in  the  snow  again.) 

GINGER     Of  course   I've  been   dreaming.     They 
can't  be  fairy  footprints  or  imps'  tracks  either,  and 
I  don't  think  they  are  bunnies ! 
DOUBT  (at  a  distance)    I  wonder. 
GINGER    I  believe  Auntie  was  right,  they  are  bear 


LITTLE  DOUBT  67 

tracks,   sure  as  I'm  alive.      Come,  we'll  find  the 
bear. 

(The  hoys  take  sticks.  Doubt,  however,  lingers 
behind.) 

(Song  by  all  three.  Stand  with  hands  on  each 
other's  shoulders;  stamp  to  accent  chorus,  and  growl 
at  end  of  it.) 

Oh,  we  are  brave  as  they  make  them — 

There's  naught  can  us  dismay ! 
We  take  things  as  we  find  them 
And  never  run  away. 
L.  D.     What — never?     B.  B.    (winking)     Well — 
hardly  ever! 

REFRAIN 

Bear!  bear!  who's  afraid  of  a  bear? 
Bear!  bear!  let  him  come  if  he  dare! 
There's  no  one  here  that  he  can  scare — 
That  bear,  bear,  bear! 

Just  stand  still  when  you  meet  him 

And  look  him  in  the  eye; 
For  that's  the  way  to  treat  him — 
He's  always  very  shy ! 
L.  D.     What — always?     B.  B.   (winking)   Well — 
nearly  always ! 

CHORUS,  etc.,   etc. 
(Doubt  hangs  back  with  finger  in  his  mouth  and 
standing  on  one  foot.) 


68  LITTLE  DOUBT 

DOUBT  (making  objections)  The  bear  might  eat 
us,  after  all. 

GOOD  BOY  Who's  afraid  of  a  bear? 

DOUBT  Bears  live  far  off  in  mountain  caves.  It's 
too  far  to  go. 

BAD  BOY  Catch  him  by  the  tongue  when  you 
see  him. 

DOUBT     Anyway   he's   asleep   in  winter. 

BAD  BOY  (gaily)  By  jinks,  we'll  catch  him  nap- 
ping; come  along  (leading  the  way). 

( They  follow  the  tracks  up  the  stage — left.) 

GOOD  BOY    Doubt's  a  coward. 

GINGER    Well,  you  are  brave  enough,  Good  Boy. 
(Bear  enters  right  and  dances  center.    Boys  re- 
turn upper  left.) 

BAD  BOY  (hides  behind  a  tree,  then  tries  to  climb 
and  falls)  Now  see  what  you've  done.  You've 
waked  the  bear. 

DOUBT  (sucking  finger  and  standing  on  one  foot) 
Shall  I  run,  or  shan't  I?  (Tries  to  hide,  too,  be- 
hind tree.) 

BAD  BOY  By  jinks,  get  out  of  here!  There's  only 
room  for  one.     (Doubt  scurries  about.) 

DOUBT  Goodness,  what  shall  I  do?  It's  time  for 
me  to  disappear. 

BAD  BOY   Catch  him  by  the  tongue. 

(Good  Boy  stands  his  ground;  the  bear  is  still 

dancing.) 

GOOD  BOY  Make  up  your  mind.  Ginger,  are  you 
a  brave  boy? 


LITTLE  DOUBT  69 

(Doubt  jumps  on  Ginger's  back,  but  is  thrown  off 
by  Ginger.    Good  Boy  helps.) 
GINGER  (takes  a  stick)    I  will  be  brave  and  fight 

the  bear.      (The  bear  runs  after  Doubt,   and  he 

goes  off  the  stage  limping  and  yelling.    Bear  spies 

Bad  Boy  and  gives   him  a  chase,   and  Bad  Boy 

runs  off  stage.) 
GOOD  BOY  I'll  stand  by  you,  Ginger. 
B^D  BOY    (Voice  in  the  distance)     Catch  him  by 

the  tongue. 

(Bear  attacks  Ginger,  who  bravely  wrestles  with 
him,  and  they  roll  over  each  other.     JVith  a  great 
whoof   and  growl   the   disguise   is    thrown    off  and 
Auntie  Owl  Eyes  is  seen  laughing.) 
AUNTIE   I  got  even  with  you  all  right! 
GINGER  You  certainly  did. 
AUNTIE  Well,  you've  got  some  Ginger  in  you  after 

all.     I  thought  it  might  just  be  in  your  hair. 
GOOD  BOY     He   got   rid   of   Doubt.      I'm   glad 

of  that! 
AUNTIE   I  saw  you  throw  him  off  all  yourself.    He 

is  still  running,  thank  Heaven.     (Looks.) 
GOOD  BOY     Nothing  can  hurt  you  if  you're  not 

afraid. 
AUNTIE    Yes,  only  those  who  hesitate  are  lost. 
GOOD  BOY     Doubt  has  gone  forever,  I  hope.     I 

suppose  he  will  run  all  the  way  to  the  city. 
AUNTIE     He'll  be  more  at  home  there,  and  soon 

will  be  teasing  some  other  boy. 


70  LITTLE  DOUBT 

GINGER  (shaking  hands  with  Good  Boy)    I'm  glad 

you  stood  by  me  anyhow. 
GOOD  BOY   Be  a  man,  old  fellow;  follow  me,  and 

I'll  make  you  captain  of  the  football  team. 

(Auntie  and  Ginger  in  center  of  stage.     Good 
fairies  appear  at  the  left,  up  stage.) 
AUNTIE    Yes,  he  is  your  good  fairy. 
GOOD  BOY    We  have  won  the  day,  after  all. 

(Good  boy  and  his  fairies  bow.  Bad  Boy  comes 
forward  to  the  right  and  his  followers  appear  behind 
him.  He  bows.) 

BAD  BOY    By  jinks,  I  must  admit  we  have  lost. 
GINGER  Where  is  Doubt?    I  don't  see  him. 
AUNTIE    (kisses    Ginger  on   the  forehead)      He 

doesn't  dare  to  come  back.    He  has  gone  forever. 
GINGER    Humans  are  even  better  than  fairies.     I 

love  you.  Auntie. 

(As  the  curtain  goes  down  they  sing  again) — 

Oh,  we  are  the  Sleighbell  Fairies, 

Fairies  good  and  free. 
And  when  snow  feathers  flutter, 
We  dance  o'er  vale  and  lea. 

CURTAIN 


"Little  boy  puddint?  and  baby  sauce, 
With  old  woman  pie  for  a  second  course, 
Would  all  be  eaten  without  remorse 
By  the  King  of  the  Cannibal  Islands." 


MERRY  JERRY 

A  Play  in  One  Act 


Characters : 

Merry  Jerry. 
Young  Neptune. 
The  Sea  Maid. 
Old  Man  of  the  Sea. 

CHORUS — ^Pinkies,    Dwarfs   and   Sirens. 


MERRY 


JERRY 


Scene :  Courtyard  in  the  white  coral  palace  of 
Neptune;  a  green  light  gives  the  illusion  of  sea  water; 
vegetation  suggests  that  of  tropical  sea-gardens  tiear 
the  equator;  white  coral  branches  resemble  trees  in  a 
snowstorm;  seaweeds  and  bright-colored  grasses  grow 
on  sea-bottom;  starfishes,  sponges  and  shells  lie  on 
the  white  sand.  The  lights  are  dim,  and  change  from 
greens  to  blues  and  mauves;  here  and  there  twinkling 
lights,  like  moving  fireflies,  suggest  phosphorescence. 
At  right-center  is  the  throne' of  young  Neptune,  in 
front  of  it  a  ring  in  the  sand  to  represent  a  fairy 
ring.  A  rock  where  a  pretty  mermaid  lurks,  is  at  the 
left  of  the  stage. 

As  the  curtain  rises,  the  Pinkies  (the  reef  build- 
ers), are  seen  at  work  on  the  coral  palace.  They  are 
dressed  in  pink  and  have  fins  upon  their  shoulders  and 
feet;  their  faces  are  oblong,  square  or  triangular. 
They  are  very  industrious.  ^nc 

Wild  shouts  are  heard,  and  a  irand  of  lively 
dwarfs,  wearing  oilskins  and  capjs  and  necklaces  of 
fish  bones,  rush  in  (upper  left  entrance),  carrying  a 


76  MERRY    JERRY 

boy  betw£en  them.  He  is  about  ten  years  old  and  is 
in  a  bathing  suit.  They  set  the  boy  down,  and  he 
looks  about  with  wide,  startled  eyes,  zvhile  the  dwarfs 
dance  a  rollicking  dance  and  sing: 

"Little  boy  pudding  and  baby  sauce, 
With  old  woman  pie  for  a  second  course, 
Would  all  be  eaten  without  remorse 
By  the  King  of  the  Cannibal  Islands. 

Hokey  pokey  pumagie  whung, 
Keno  kino  ching  chang  chung. 
Honey  poney  phing  phang  phung, 
The  King  of  the  Cannibal  Islands. 

For  his  name  was  Chingy  Fingy  Wong, 
Putta-potee  da  Kuttala  Kong, 
Flipperty-flapperty  Basky  Bong, 
The  King  of  the  Cannibal  Islands." 

(The  dwarfs  all  disappear  except  their  leader, 

who  remains  with  Merry  Jerry.) 

MERRY  JERRY  I  want  to  go  home!  I  want  to 
go  home ! 

OLD  MAN  OF  THE  SEA  (The  head  dwarf,  who 
wears  a  long  white  beard,  shakes  his  finger  at 
Merry  Jerry)  None  of  that,  boy!  If  I  hear  you 
whimper  any  more,  you'll  never  get  back  to  your 
mother.       I     am     master    of    the     dwarfs;     you 


MERRY    JERRY  77 

had  better  obey  me.  Now  you  stay  here  until  Nep- 
tune comes.  You're  a  surprise  we  have  brought 
him.     (He  makes  a  face  at  the  boy.) 

MERRY  JERRY  I  won't  stay  here.  You  can't 
keep  me, 

OLD  MAN  Ha  !  who  knows  best  about  that  ?  Let 
me  tell  you,  I'm  the  "King  of  the  Cannibal  Islands." 
If  I  call  my  dwarfs,  you'll  be  "little  boy  pudding" 
in  a  hurry.  I  think  nothing  of  making  way  with 
little  imps  like  you.  (Pulls  Jerry  roughly  over  be- 
hind rock  at  left.)  Stay  there  till  I  come  back  for 
you.     (He  disappears.) 

SEA  MAID  (peeps  round  the  rock  curiously,  look- 
ing at  Merry  Jerry  from  all  sides,  and  smiles  at 
him)  What  queer  thing  is  this  the  Old  Man  of  the 
Sea  has  captured?  .Are  you  a  little  boy? 

MERRY  JERRY  (crying  and  very  cross)  Yes. 
Haven't  you  ever  seen  a  boy  before? 

SEA  AIAID  (shaking  her  head  and  beginning  to 
comb  her  long  hair)  No,  never !  So  you  want  to  go 
home?  That's  the  trouble,  is  it?  It's  not  so  bad 
down  here,  though.    What's  your  name? 

MERRY  JERRY  Jeremiah.  Mother  always  calls 
me  Merry  Jerry,  but  I'm  too  old  for  that  name 
now.  (Looks  about.)  Why,  this  is  rather  a  jolly 
place,  after  all!  At  first  I  thought  it  was  night; 
now  I  see  it's  the  queer  light  and  the  water.'  Why, 
I'm  walking  on  the  bottom  of  the  sea,  and  are  you 
a  mermaid? 


78  MERRY    JERRY 

SEA  MAID    Yes,  I  am  a  sea  maid.     (She  sings.) 

I  sit  on  the  edge  of  the  rocky  ledge, 
And  moan  while  the  foam  dashes  by, 

I  comb  my  hair  in  the  breeze  by  the  seas, 
And  think  of  my  Jackie  and  sigh. 
And  think  of  my  Jackie  and  sigh ! 

The  sky  is  so  clear  I  spy  Jackie  dear, 
A-bailing  and  sailing  away. 
To  Jackie  I  sing,  and  seaweed  I  fling, 
But  Jackie  says  no,  not  to-day. 
But  Jackie  says  no,  not  to-day! 

SEA  MAID  Tell  me,  boy,  what  is  it  that  wears  its 
beard  without  a  chin  and  leaves  its  bed  to  be  tucked 
in? 

MERRY  JERRY   I  can't  guess. 

SEA  MAID  (laughing)  An  oyster.  I'd  know  you 
were  a  land  boy. 

MERRY  JERRY  Tell  me  some  more  about  the  sea. 
Gee !  this  is  an  awfully  queer  place !  (Perches  on 
rock  beside  her.) 

'SEA  MAID  Well,  when  the  Ocean  Giant  stirs  his 
kettle  he  makes  whirlpools,  and  when  he  knocks 
the  ashes  from  his  pipe  he  makes  volcanic  islands, 
and —  But  let's  play  house  together!  I'll  go  mar- 
keting with  sand  dollars,  and  you  shall  write  out 
the  bills  with  the  sea  pen. 


MERRY  JERRY  79 

MERRY  JERRY  No!  I  don't  want  to  play  house, 
that's  for  girls*     Haven't  you  a  Zoo  down  here? 

SEA  MAID  Of  course.  We  have  lizard  fishes  and 
rabbit  fishes  and  squirrel  fishes,  and  lots  of  queer 
creatures. 

MERRY  JERRY  Tell  me,  are  those  sparks  alive? 
They  look  like  fireflies. 

SEA  MAID  Yes,  they  are  alive,  and  they  are  the 
lights  of  the  palace. 

MERRY  JERRY  That's  funny!  Once  when  I  sat 
up  late  I  remember  looking  into  the  sea  and  watch- 
ing those  lights.  Mother  told  me  some  long  name 
— phosphorescence,  I  think.  I  suppose  she  didn't 
know  they  were  the  lamps  of  the  palace.  I'll  tell 
her  when  I  get  home.  _. 

SEA  MAID  (poking  a  cuttle  fish  and  swishing  her 
tail)  And  this  is  Tom  Toddy,  all  head  and  no 
body.  (Looking  at  Jerry.)  So  you  think  you'll 
get  home,  do  you,  my  dear?  I'm  not  so  sure  of 
that.  I  want  you  myself.  You  would  make  a  fine 
merboy  before  long. 

idERRY  JERRY  I  can't  go  home?  I'd  like  to 
know  why  not.  No  girl  will  keep  me.  But  go  on 
— tell  me  about  the  palace,  whose  is  it? 

SEA  MAID  It  belongs  to  Neptune,  the  lord  of  the 
sea. 

MERRY  JERRY  Jolly!  I'd  like  to  get  a  look  at 
him.    Where  is  he? 

SEA  MAID    He's  off  driving  his  white  sea  horses. 


So  MERRY  JERRY 

He  is  a  brave  king;  he  wrestles  with  the  wicked 
swordfish  with  spiked  nose,  and  battles  with  the 
great  octopus, 

MERRY  JERRY  Glory!  I'd  like  to  see  such  a  fight. 
I  suppose  it  is  because  he  is  so  brave  that  the 
mermen  made  him  king. 

SEA  MAID  Yes.  Even  the  Ocean  Giant  obeys  him. 
He  won  a  great  battle  once.  Fishes  from  all  over 
the  kingdom  were  there,  and  they  made  him  king 
after  that.  That  was  when  he  conquered  the  Old 
^  Man  of  the  Sea. 
^ MERRY  JERRY  Ho!  the  old  duffer  who  brought 
me  here  ?  Bully  for  him  !  Hello  !  What  do  you 
call  those  funny  little  people  over  there? 

SEA  MAID  They  are  the  Pinkies,  the  coral-reef 
builders.  They  are  always  working,  working, 
working.  Ahoy  there,  pinkies,  can't  you  sing  for 
the  land  boy? 

(Pinkies  sing  and  at  the  same  time  clink,  clink 

with  hammers.) 

We're  the  pinkie  boys  of  the  deep, 

We  never,  oh  never,  can  sleep. 

We  must  work  all  night  and  all  the  day, 

We  seldom  if  ever  can  play. 

We're  the  workers  under  the  sea. 

All  the  ships  from  us  try  to  flee. 

Pretty  islands,  however,  we  make. 

Where  let's  dance  for  good  Neptune's  sake. 


MERRY  JERRY  8x 

REFRAIN 

We  build  the  gardens  for  Neptune, 

Of  coral  reefs  make  bowers, 
We  join  the  mermaids  in  a  tune, 
And  mortals  think  us  flowers. 
(Trumpets  are  heard.) 
SEA  MAID   Hurrah  !   Neptune  is  coming !    (Combs 
her  hair  and  looks  into  a  mirror.)    I  got  this  from 
a  sailor  lad.     You  must  have  some  soap-fish,  boy, 
to  wash  your  hands  before  you  meet  our  king.    Oh 
dear!  it  is  too  late.   Here  they  come.    (She  waves.) 
MERRY  JERRY   Say,  this  is  fun,  after  all!    Wish 
the  fellows  could  see  me  now !    What  a  jolly  place 
this  is!     I  wish  mother  were  here.     But  it  is  get- 
^  ting  late;   she  must  be  looking  for  me.      I  must 
go  back.     But  I  don't  know  where  to  go !     Are 
those  mermaids  singing?     I  wonder. 

{Song  is  heard.  The  conquering  young  Neptune 
enters  with  trident  lifted,  big  and  handsome  and  stern. 
He  sits  upon  his  throne,  a  pink  coral  crown  upon  his 
head,  and  clad  in  an  armor  of  oyster  shells.  The  sea 
dwarfs  head  the  procession,  led  by  the  Old  Man  of  the 
Sea,  and  blow  loud  blasts  upon  their  conch-shell  trum- 
pets. They  are  mischievous  imps,  tying  knots  in  ropes, 
bothering  the  pinkies  with  their  pranks,  tearing  holes 
in  sails,  and  making  fads  as  they  go  along.  Pinkies 
also  join  in  the  procession  and  dance  and  sing.  They 
enter  the  fairy  ring.  Sea  sirens  appear  here  and  there 
through   the  palace,    half  hidden,   singing,   combing 


82  MERRY    JERRY 

their  hair  and  swishing  their  tails.  Subjects  bow  he- 
fore  Neptune.  Procession  winds  about  stage;  breaks 
up  into  dances;  finally  leaving  Merry  Jerry  in  center 
of  stage,  Old  Man  of  the  Sea  at  Neptune's  right,  Sea 
Maid  at  his  left.) 

NEPTUNE  Why,  here  is  a  land  boy!  How  did 
you  get  into  my  palace  under  the  sea  ?  Tell  me 
all  about  It.  Come,  don't  be  afraid! 
MERRY  JERRY  Well,  you  see,  Mr.  Neptune,  I 
was  sitting  on  the  rocks  feeding  my  gulls,  when  I 
saw  a  big  square-rigged  ship  sail  in.  There  was 
a  jolly  dwarf  'way  out  on  the  bowsprit,  and  he 
beckoned  me  to  come  aboard. 
NEPTUNE    That  was  the  Old  Man  of  the  Sea,  I 

am  sure. 
MERRY  JERRY     Yes,   that's  just  who   it  was. 
Mother  had  said  I  mustn't  go  In  swimming  again 
to-day,   but   that   dwarf  kept   beckoning,    and   he 
looked  so  jolly  that  I  got  on  my  bathing  suit  and 
went  right  Into  the  waves. 
NEPTUNE    Weren't  you  frightened,  boy? 
MERRY  JERRY    No,  'course  not.     I  had  on  my 
dried  starfish  that  Sailor  Jack  gave  me  to  keep  me 
from  being  afraid  of  the  ocean! 
NEPTUNE  (sternly)     I  see.     What  next. 
MERRY  JERRY    Well,  pretty  soon  the  Old  Man 
of  the  Sea  got  hold  of  me,  and  he  dragged  me  along 
ever  so  far,  and  at  last  I  got,  well,  almost  fright- 


MERRY  JERRY  83 

^ed.     He  was  awful  rough,  and  didn't  take  me 

on  the  ship  at  all. 
OLD  MAN    Oh !  pooh,  nonsense ! 
MERRY  JERRY   And  when  I  wanted  to  go  home 

the  Old  Man  of  the  Sea  wouldn't  let  me. 
OLD  MAN    (chuckling)     How  you  did  kick! 
MERRY  JERRY  'Course  I  kicked!   What  did  you 

think?     The  dwarfs  carried  me  along,  I  couldn't 

help  myself,  and  the  first  thing  I  knew  here  I  was 

in  your  palace. 
NEPTUNE  Hum!   Do  you  like  it? 
MERRY  JERRY  It's  all  right!  But  it's  late.  Won't 

you  send  me  home,  please?    Mother  will  be  look- 
ing for  me. 

(Lights  come  out  in  the  courtyard.) 
NEPTUNE  (To  mermaid)     Nice  little  chap,  isn't 

he? 
MERRY  JERRY     She   wouldn't   send   me   home 

either;  she  wanted  to  make  a  merboy  out  of  me, 

and   keep   me,   too,   but   I   want  to   go   home   tO; 

mother.  ^_ 

Dff^RF^  (shout)   No,  inde^cy  You  can't  go  home ! 

We  want  you  to  play  with  rrs. 

(Dwarfs  dance  and  play  tricks.     They  sing  in 
chorus :) 

We've  got  a  new  toy, 
A  little  land  boy — 

Sing  ricketty  racketty  rock  ahoy! 


84  MERRY    JERRY 

We'll  never  let  him  go, 
Oh,  never,  no,  no ! 

With  a  ricketty  racketty  rock  oh,  ho ! 

DJVARF^   Come  along! 

(Dwarfs  take  Jerry  off  and  dance  with  him  in  a 

ring.) 

NEPTUNE  (angrily)  So  your  dwarf|  are  up  to 
their  tricks  again!  I  believe  it  was  your  crew,  Old 
Man  of  the  Sea,  that  stuffed  my  conch-shell  trum- 
pets the  other  day;  and  the  mermaids  laughed  at 
me  till  they  made  ripples  on  the  surface  of  the 
water.  Oh,  of  course  you  tickled  my  sea  horses,  too, 
so  they  ran  away  and  upset  me.  Now  you  have 
stolen  this  child.  This  is  the  end!  You  shall  not 
have  him.  Take  him  back  to  the  shore  where  you 
found  him. 

(Neptune   rises    and   with   a  gesture    dismisses 

court;  goes  of  up  stage.     The  Old  Man  of  the  Sea 

seizes  Jerry.) 

OLD  MAN  Take  him,  boys — Neptune  will  never 
know. 

SEA  MAID  Bring  him  back!  (To  the  Old  Man  of 
the  Sea)  You  have  no  right  to  keep  him,  you 
wicked  dwarf! 

OED  MAN  OF  THE  SEA  (dancing  with  glee) 
Too  late,  fair  maid;  we  have  him  now!  Off  with 
him!  Tie  his  legs  with  seaweed!  Put  starfish  in 
his  hair!  We'll  see  when  he'll  get  back  to  his 
mother ! 


MERRY    JERRY  85 

MERRY  JERRY  (as  he  is  carried  off)  Let  me 
go!     I'd  rather  belong  to  Neptune  than  to  you! 

OLD  MAN  Ho,  ho!   (Fainter.)   Ho,  ho,  ho! 

SEA  MAID  (calls)  O  Neptune,  great  king,  return ! 
(As  Neptune  comes  in  again)  The  Old  Man  of 
the  Sea  has  stolen  your  land  child,  O  king — the 
wretched  dwarfs  will  imprison  him  in  their  darkest 
cave. 

(Neptune  strikes  his  trident  upon  the  sand  and 

a  sound  of  thunder  is  heard.) 

NEPTUNE  (in  a  terrible  voice)  Old  Man  of  the 
Sea,  bring  back  that  boy  !  (No  response.  He  strikes 
again  upon  the  ground — louder  thunder,  rolling  and 
finally  crashing,  with  lightning)  Do  you  still  dare 
disobey  me? 

(Old  Man  of  the  Sea  rushes  in  and  throws  him- 
self at  the  king's  feet;  the  dwarfs  slink  in  behind  him, 

giving  Jerry  malicious  pinches  and  kicks  as  they  lead 

him  down  stage.) 

OLD  MAN  Never  again,  O  great  Neptune,  will  I 
do  aught  against  thee.  Forgive  us  this  folly,  and 
we  are  forever  thy  slaves.  See,  here  is  the  boy 
to  do  with  as  it  pleases  thee ! 

NEPTUNE  Old  Man,  you  have  trifled  with  me 
once  too  often.  You  shall  take  Merry  Jerry  home 
to  his  mother — and  this  is  the  way  you  shall  do 
it :    I  turn  you  into  a  fish  t 

(Strikes   him  with  trident.     Lights  go  out  and 

when  they  come  up  Merry  Jerry  is  seen  astride  a 


86 


MERRY  JERRY 


fish  in  center  of  stage,  laughing  and  waving  good- 
bye. Slow  curtain  as  the  slaves  sing  "Hokey,  pokey," 
etc.,  and  the  pinkies  dance  in  the  fairies'  ring.  Dwarfs 
form  mournful  procession  behind  as  fish  glides  across 
stage,  and  one  gives  its  waving  tail  a  sly  tweak.) 


"That's    no    fairy.     He's    just    a    New    Jersey 
mosquito." 


THE     GEE     WHIZ 
A  Play  in  One  Act 


Characters : 

Ginger. 
Skipper. 
Dinah. 
Polly. 
Sun  Boy. 

CHORUS — Sailor  Boys,  Fuzzy  Wuzzy  Buzz 
Wuzz,  Sun  Sparkles,  Flying  Fish,  Waves,  Cloud- 
lets, Lightning  Sprites. 

Songs  and  Dances  for  "The  Gee  Whiz" 
Skipper's     Hornpipe     and     Buccaneer     Song,     with 

Sailor  Boys. 
Song — You   Little  Ginger  Snap. 
Mosquito  Dance,  with  flapping  of  wings  and  buzz 

music,  low,  with  combs. 
Dinah's  Coon  Song  and  Cake  Walk. 
Sun  Boy's  song  and  dance,  with  Sparkles. 
Dance   of  the   Flying   Fish,   with  Waves. 
Dance  of  the  Lightning  Sprites,  with  the  Cloudlets. 


THE       GEE       WHIZ 

Scene :  The  cabin  of  the  Gee  Whiz.  The  cabin 
walls  are  decorated  with  seaweeds,  coral,  cocoanuts 
and  dried  starfish,  as  well  as  prints  of  merchant  craft, 
whaling  ships  and  great  four-masters.  Guns  and  fish- 
ing rods  stand  in  the  corner,  while  table  and  chairs 
are  to  be.  seen,  and  a  parrot  hanging  in  a  cage.  Port- 
hole back  of  stage;  entrance  right  and  left. 

As  the  curtain  rises  Ginger,  a  small  red-headed 
boy,  in  sporting  costume,  is  seen  baiting  a  hook  on  a 
line,  while  the  Skipper  dances  a  hornpipe  and  sings, 
with  two  sailor  boys.  He  is  dressed  as  a  Skipper  and 
has  a  pipe  in  his  hand. 
SKIPPER  (sings) 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas, 

with  greatest  ease, 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas, 
Give  us  some  grog  but  not  any  fog, 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas. 

We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas, 

with  greatest  ease. 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas. 


92  THE  GEE  WHIZ 

Give  us  some  grub  without  any  bug, 

We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas. 

We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas, 

with  greatest  ease. 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas. 
Give  us  a  chew,  a  jolly  old  crew. 
We're  the  Buccaneers  that  sail  upon  the  seas. 
POLLY  (A  shrill  voice  behind  the  stage  speaks  for 

Polly)  Gee  Whiz  !  go  it.  Cap  !  Gee  whiz  I 
SKIPPER  So  Polly's  waking  up.  (Ginger  and  the 
Skipper  laugh.  Ginger  tries  his  rod  and  reel;  he 
almost  catches  the  Skipper,  who  escapes  laughing. 
Ginger  sticks  the  fish  hook  into  his  own  hand  and 
has  a  tantrum.) 
SKIPPER  By  the  great  jibboom,  what's  the  good  of 
having  a  tantrum,  Ginger?  (Scratches  his  head 
and  sings :) 

You  little  ginger  snap, 
You  need  a  good  rap  rap  I 
You  should  be  fed  on  pap, 
You  little  ginger  snap ! 
They've  left  this  boy  to  me, 
And  I  am  all  at  sea, 
•    More  ways  than  one. 
Just  see  what  he  has  done — 
Had  tantrums  all  the  while — 
It  makes  my  temper  bile. 
They're  leaving  him  to  me, 
When  I  am  so  at  sea ! 


THE  GEE  WHIZ  93 

They've  left  their  boy  to  me, 
For  all  I'm  so  at  sea, 
It's  quite  too  'tarnal  much! 
I'll  be  an  Uncle  Dutch — 
Show  him  a  thing  or  two — 
I'll  teach  him  who  is  who! 
They've  left  the  lad  to  me 
Too  often,  they  will  see ! 

REFRAIN 
For  I'm  the  skipper 
Of  this  here  clipper, 

And  what  I  says,  it  goes! 
For  I'm  the  skipper 
Of  this  here  clipper, 

And  what  I  says,  it  goes ! 

Your  dad  has  gone  ashore  and  left  you  with  me, 

so  look  here,  now,  stop  this  nonsense  and  tell  me 

what  your  orders  are.    Where  shall  the  good  ship 

"Gee  Whiz"  sail  to?     What  do  you  wish  to  see? 

GINGER  (sulkily)    Sail  anywhere  you  like.    I  want 

to  have  adventures.     How  about  a  great  big  storm 

at  sea? 

POLLY   (with  a  long  whistle)      Gee  whiz!      Gee 

whiz ! 
SKIPPER  Gee  whiz  !  I  agree  with  you,  Polly.  That 
is  a  pretty  big  order.  (Scratches  his  head  and 
smokes  his  pipe.)  A  storm !  Well,  it's  hard  to 
tell  what  may  happen  on  a  voyage,  especially  if 
you  blow  on  the  earbone  of  a  whale.     (He  takes 


94  THE  GEE  WHIZ 

it  out  of  his  pocket  and  hands  it  to  Ginger.)  Have 
a  blow,  old  fellow,  but  I  give  you  warning,  aftef 
a  tantrum  there  is  no  telling  what  will  happen. 
You  might  even  see  fairies. 
GINGER  (scornfully)  I'm  not  afraid  to  blow  on 
the  earbone  of  a  whale.  It's  not  much  more  ex- 
citing than  blowing  on  a  watch,  but  here  goes ! 
(He  blows.) 

Ear  bone,  ear  bone, 

What  have  you  got  for  me  ? 
Once  for  luck,  and  twice  for  pluck, 

And  thrice  for  a  storm  at  sea ! 
Ear  bone,  ear  bone, 

Will  you  do  this  for  me? 
SKIPPER   (sings  out)     Now  we're  off.     Hoist  the 
mainsail.     Get  under  way,  Mate.     We'll  have  a 
ripping  sail  to-day;  the  wind  is  strong.     We'll  sail 
and  sail  all  the  way  to  Fairyland. 

(The  two  sailors  pull  ropes  and  finally  go  off  the 
stage,  right.  At  that  moment  a  mosquito  comes  in, 
left,  and  dances.) 

SKIPPER  (laughing)  There's  a  fairy  for  you. 
Hasn't  he  got  wings?  Won't  he  do?  Speaking 
of  'um  is  a-seeing  of  'um. 

(The  mosquito  dances  up  to  Polly's  cage.) 
POLLY    Gee  whiz!    Gee  whiz!    Get  out  of  here! 
GINGER    Pooh!   You  can't  fool  me.  Skipper;  that's 
no  fairy.    He's  just  a  New  Jersey  mosquito,  a  big 
New  Jersey  mosquito. 


THE  GEE  WHIZ  95 

(The  mosquito  chases  Ginger.    Ginger  tries  to 

catch  him,  clapping  his  hands,  but  the  mosquito  buzzes 

back  at  him.) 

SKIPPER   (chuckling)     By  the  great  jibboom,  he 

doesn't  like  being  called  a  New  Jersey  mosquito. 

(The  mosquito  finally  stings  Ginger.  Ginger  gets 

very  angry,  stamps  his  foot,  knocks  over  a  chair,  and 

cries.) 

GINGER  The  dickens  I  He's  stung  me,  that  New 
Jersey  mosquito ! 

POLLY  (delighted,  whistles  and  yells)  Rah,  rah! 
rah !  Harvard !  Rah !  rah !  rah !  P.  E.  A.  Exeter ! 
Exeter! 

DINAH  (a  colored  mammy  wearing  a  turban  rushes 
in)  Why,  honey  chile,  what  on  earth's  de  matter? 
Pore  'ittle  lamb !  (Comforts  him.)  So  you  got 
stung?  Would  you  like  a  little  song?  Maybe  it'll 
make  you  feel  gladder. 

GINGER   Yes,  give  us  a  song,  Dinah. 

(Dinah  sings  ''Swing  low,  sweet  chariot!" ) 

SKIPPER  (disgustedly)  If  you  keep  on  having  tan- 
trums. Ginger,  the  Lord  only  knows  what'll  hap- 
pen; starting  out  to  sea  and  having  tantrums  the 
very  first  thing,  and  being  comforted  by  women 
folks.  You  are  nothing  but  a  little  ginger  snap. 
By  the  great  jibboom,  that  mosquito  is  busy  again ! 
(Laughs.) 

POLLY    G'mgtr  ^o^\  (Whistles.) 

(Mosquito  goes  for  Dinah,  who  runs  into  the 

Sun  Boy  as  he  enters.) 


96  THE  GEE  WHIZ 

DINAH  Foh  de  Lawd's  sake !  dis  'ere  ship  done 
got  'um !  ( Throws  up  her  hands  and  rushes  out, 
right,  mosquito  after  her.) 

SKIPPER  Here  comes  a  real  fairy  this  time,  the 
Sun  Boy. 

SUN  BOY  {He  is  dressed  in  yellow  tights  with 
cape  of  spangles,  the  light  turned  full  on  him.  As 
he  is  a  fairy  he  must  arrive  in  some  mysterious 
way;  perhaps  through  the  porthole.  He  carries  a 
spy-glass  and  a  paint  brush.  He  goes  up  to  Polly' s 
cage,  accompanied  by  two  Sun  Sparkles  in  spangled 
costume;  they  dance  and  sing :) 

Oh,   I'm  the  naughty  Sun  Boy! 

I'll  get  you  in  a  fix — 
I'll  paint  you  red  and  brown,  boy — 

I  love  to  play  my  tricks ! 

Oh,  I'm  the  naughty  Sun  Boy — 

Ilive  in  a  balloon; 
It's  bright  and  round  and  golden — 

It's  bigger  than  the  Moon  ! 

I've  brought  my  little  sparkles — 

They're  such  a  lively  lot! 
Just  watch  them  shine  and  twinkle. 
They  dance  and  prance  and  trot. 
SUN  BOY     I  saw  you  through  the  spy-glass,  so  I 
thought  I  would  just  come  down  and  find  out  what 


THE  GEE  WHIZ  97 

you  were  up  to.  (Swaggers  about  a  little.)  I 
called  a  passing  eagle  and  hopped  on  his  back,  and 
here  I  am,  quick  as  a  wink.  (Goes  up  to  Polly. 
Polly  gives  a  long  whistle.) 

POLLY    Whew,  but  it  is  hot! 

SKIPPER  So  the  Sun  Boy  and  his  Sparkles  have 
come  to  see  us,  as  sure  as  I'm  alive.  It's  just  noon. 
I  must  take  an  observation. 

SUN  BOY  (bows)  I  will  tell  you;  it  is  longitude 
74.26  and  latitude  40.26. 

SKIPPER     Many  thanks,  Mr.  Sun  Boy. 

SUN  BOY  Are  you  off  your  course,  Skipper?  Is  the 
tide  running  strong? 

SKIPPER  The  wind  Is  blowing  fresh,  and  by  the 
great  jibboom  I  believe  a  storm's  a-coming,  after 
all. 

DINAH  (poking  her  head  in  at  the  door)  Foh  de 
Lawd's  sake ! 

SUN  BOY  (bowing  to  Dinah  and  waving  his  paint 
brush)    I  painted  Dinah  black  years  ago. 

DINAH  Dis  'ere  boat  sure  done  got  'um !  {Dis- 
appears.) 

SUN  BOY  I  intend  to  give  Ginger  a  red  nose  before 
I  leave — a  touch  of  sun — in  punishment  for  hav- 
ing had  a  tantrum.  (He  catches  hold  of  Ginger 
and  paints  his  nose  red,  then  scampers  away,  leav- 
ing as  he  entered.  His  Sparkles  follow  him.) 
I  see  the  clouds  gathering.  It  is  time  for  me  to 
disappear. 


98  THE  GEE  WHIZ 

GINGER    My  nose  !  My  nose  !     (Stamps  his  foot.) 
SKIPPER  (laughs  as  Ginger  holds  onto  his  nose — 
tinsympathetically )    That  will  do  you  good.     My, 
you  do  look  funny!     (Slaps  his  sides.) 

(Dinah  brings  in  a  tray  with  food  on  it.    Skip- 
per, Dinah  and  Ginger  sit  down  at  the  table.) 
POLLY      Polly  wants   a   cracker!      Polly  wants   a 

cracker ! 
SKIPPER  (gets  up,  looks  out  of  porthole.  Scratches 
his  head.)  There's  a  bad  storm  a-comlng.  The 
clouds  are  getting  wild.  By  the  great  jibboom,  here 
come  some  Cloudlets  right  in  here.  {Looking 
around.)  I  see  the  Sun  Boy  has  gone.  They  are 
playing  hide  and  seek,  no  doubt,  and  the  wind 
fairies,  too,  are  having  some  fun. 

(The  cloudlets  are  dressed  in  gray  scarfs;  elec- 
tric fan  turned  on  from  wing  will  make  them  blow. 
Hidden  behind  the  veils  they  can  burn  incense,  so  the 
smoke  will  rise.     They  dance.) 

GINGER  That  is  strange !  My!  Hurrah!  This 
is  a  storm !  I  can't  find  my  mouth.  Oh  dear,  I 
have  lost  my  bun!  (Things  begin  to  tumble  off 
the  table.  Ginger  begins  to  look  worried.) 
DINAH  It  is  rough.  Do  you  believe  I'd  turn  white 
if  I  got  sea-sick?  If  you're  sure  I  would,  Skipper, 
I'm  willing  to  risk  it. 

(It  gets  rougher  and  rougher.  Cloudlets  retire, 
left,  as  flying  fish  enters  porthole  with  wavelets.  The 
fish  flops  and  jumps  about  ivith  the  little  wavelets, 


THE  GEE  WHIZ  99 

<(irls  dressed  in  blue  scarfs  with  fringe  of  dripping 
sparklets.    They  hold  a  floating  white  scarf  of  gauze 
about  their  heads  to  represent  spray.) 
GINGER    (excitedly)      A  fish,   look! — and  waves, 

by  jinks!     Is  he  an  April  fool  fish? 
DINAH     I  don't  believe  he  is  an  April  fool  fish, 

Honey,  I  think  he  is  a  flying  fish. 

(The  flying  fish  sings  and  dances.) 

I've  come  from  the  ocean  deep. 
From  caves  where  the  fishes  sleep, 
I  wiggle-waggle  my  fin 
And  flippity-flop  right  in. 
The  wavelets  will  take  the  blame 
They'll   say  it's   all  the   same; 
So  splashity-splash,  let's  run — 
Oh,  jolly,  but  we'll  have  fun! 
(Chairs  commence  to  sway.     Ginger  is  fright- 
ened.) 

DINAH  Foh  de  Lawd's  sake !    It's  mighty  rough. 
GINGER  (clings  to  Dinah)    Gee  !    I'm  frightened ! 
(Suddenly  a  crash,  and  the  table  upsets  and  they 
all  fall  over.    Lights  lowered.) 
GINGER   (screams)     Help!     Help! 
POLLY  Gee  whiz  !    Gee  whiz! 

SKIPPER    By  the  great  jibboom,  the  fairies  are  all 
out  to-night.     Here  come  the  lightning  imps. 

(Stage   dark.       The   lightning  imps   enter  and 


loo  THE  GEE  WHIZ 

dance;   electricity   flashlight   is   used  freely,    darting 
here    and    there — phosphorescence    if    wanted    and 
sparkles.    Thunder  is  heard.) 
SKIPPER    The  Lightning  Imps  certainly  are  lively, 

and  the  old  Thunder  Giant  has  been  waked  up. 

I  hear  him  roar.     I  can  hear  the  little  rain  fairies 

pitter-patter  merrily  on  the  deck. 
SKIPPER  (giving  orders)     Heave  in,  dead  astern, 

hard  a-lee !     Clew  up  the  topsails. 
POLLY   Rah!  rah!  rah!    Gee  whiz !    Gee  whiz! 
DINAH     Foh  de  Lawd's  sake,  save  us,  save  us ! 

This  storm  done  come  on  account  of  that  'ere  whale 

bone,  sure  as  I'm  alive. 
GINGER    Oh,  help!    Help!    We're  going  to  cap- 
size. 
SKIPPER     Tantrum's  all  gone.  Ginger  Boy? 
GINGER    Yes,  sir-ee  Bob,  Skipper!    Help!    Help! 

Never  again! 
SKIPPER     Well,  blow  on  the  ear  of  the  whale,  and 

see  if  that  will  help  matters. 

(Ginger  blows.  The  lights  come  up  slowly.  The 
ship  is  quiet  again.  The  Lightning  Sprites  retire  to 
one  side  while  the  Sun  Boy  and  his  Sparkles  enter. 
The  flying  fish  looks  in  at  the  port  hole  with  the 
waves.  Even  the  mosquito  returns  and  buzzes  about 
merrily  again.) 
DINAH  (Tableau;  praying  on  her  knees  in  center 

with  Ginger  next  to  her)     Oh,  Lawd,  help !    We 

thank  hebbens  we  be  safe ! 


THE  GEE  WHIZ  loi 

SKIPPER   Three  cheers  for  Ginger ! 
CHORUS     Hip,  hip,  hurrah! 
SKIPPER      If  you   have   learned  to   control  your 
temper.  Ginger,  you  can  govern  a  Kingdom. 
(Buccaneer  Song.) 


CURTAIN 


"With  tliis  jewel  my  crown  will  be  finer  than 
any  other  Queen's." 


JUSTICE    WHISKERS'    TRIAL 
A  Play  in  One  Act 


Characters : 
Justice  Whiskers. 
Mistress   Pippin. 
Mistress  Peach. 
The   Berry  Queen. 
Chestnut)^      J, 
Popcorn  j 
CHORUS — Fruit   Elves,    Fire   and   Snow   Fairies. 

Songs  and  Dances  for  "Justice  Whiskers'  Trial." 
Song  and   dance  by   Chestnut   and   Popcorn. 
Song  and  dance  by  Mistress  Peach,  with  chorus. 
Dance  of  Fire  Fairies,  with  lights  low. 
Snow  Fairies'  Ballet — they  scatter  cotton,  wool  and 

powder. 
Final  chorus. 

Suggestions  for  costumes :  The  Elves  must  be 
comical  and  in  gay  autumn  colors,  with  funny  masks 
or  noses;  they  might  have  caps  representing  vege- 
tables. The  Fire  Fairies  wear  red  scarfs  and  carry 
flaming  torches,  while  the  Snow  Fairies  wear  white 
tulle  and  many  jewels.  Popcorn  is  comical  in  white 
cotton  wool,  with  strings  of  popcorn  and  ears  of 
yellow  corn.  Chestnut,  also  comical,  has  a  brown 
costume,  the  body  stuffed  in  the  shape  of  a  chestnut; 
burrs  and  strings  of  chestnuts  may  be  added.  Miss 
Peach  and  Miss  Pippin  may  have  dresses  suggesting 
the  labels  of  canned  peaches  and  apples.  The  Berry 
Queen  should  be  gowned  in  black  with  a  crown  of 
jewels;  berries  or  other  small  fruits  should  be  intro- 
duced in  her  costume. 


JUSTICE       WHISKERS'       TRIAL 


Scene :  A  vegetable  garden  in  the  Autumn.  A 
pumpkin,  the  home  of  Justice  Whiskers,  to  the  right; 
a  pile  of  apples  and  other  fruits  and  vegetables  should 
be  in  the  garden.  Entrances  right  and  left.  Before 
the  play  begins.  Justice  Whiskers  comes  in  front  of 
the  curtain,  bows  to  the  audience  and  makes  a  speech. 
He  is  dressed  in  yellow  and  green,  has  a  queer 
pointed  hat  and  pointed  shoes  that  curl  up  at  the 
toes;  also  a  long  white  beard. 

JUSTICE  WHISKERS  You  probably  do  not  know 
me,  so  I  will  tell  you  who  I  am — Justice  Whis- 
kers, at  your  service.  My  home  is  a  golden  pump- 
kin, for  I  am  ruler  of  the  Vegetable  Goblins.  I 
want  to  add,  if  anyone  in  the  audience  happens  to 
be  playing  Whiskerettes,  he  will  win  the  game,  for 
my  beard,  as  you  see,  reaches  to  the  third  button  of 
my  waistcoat. 

I  am  really  here  to  explain  to  the  children  something 
which  perhaps  they  do  not  know.  The  reason 
they  cannot   always   see   the   vegetable   and   fruit 


io6        JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL 

fairies  is  that — when  boys  steal  green  apples,  for 
instance — the  fairies  inside  take  some  other  form. 
My  friend,  Mistress  Pippin,  the  apple  fairy,  turns 
into  a  worm  to  fool  you,  so  you  will  leave  the  apple 
alone.  Sometimes  the  children  carry  our  homes 
away  when  we  are  out,  but,  in  spite  of  this,  we 
are  fond  of  the  little  rascals  and  try  to  do  all 
manner  of  nice  things  for  them.  (Bows  and  re- 
tires.   A  good  moment  for  some  jokes.) 

(As  the  curtain  rises,  Justice  Whiskers  is  again 
seen,  now  lying  beside  his  pumpkin  home,  looking 
through  a  spyglass.  Chestnut  and  Popcorn,  his  her- 
alds, stand  on  either  side  of  him.  They  speak  as 
one,  dance  together,  and  are  very  lively  and  naughty. 
They  call  through  megaphones  like  big  morning 
glories) . 
WHISKERS  (putting  down  his  spy-glass)  Chestnut 

and  Popcorn,  open  the  court. 
HERALDS    The  court  is  about  to  open.    The  most 
extraordinary  case  that  ever  was  known  in  Elfland 
will  be  tried  to-day.    The  Queen  of  the  Berries  has 
disappeared.      If  there   has  been    foul   play,   the 
guilty  parties  must  be  brought  to  punishment. 
(Fairies  peep  out  of  vegetables  or  behind  trees. 
Justice  Whiskers  gets  up  and  sits  upon  his  golden 
pumpkin.) 

WHISKERS  (in  a  commanding  voice)  First  bring 
before  the  court  of  the  kingdom  of  Fruit  Fairies, 
Mistress  Pippin,   maid  of  honor  and  mistress  or 


JUSTICE   WHISKERS'  TRIAL        107 

the  robes  to  Her  Majesty  the  good  Queen  of  the 
Berries. 

HERALDS  (Popcorn  and  Chestnut,  squeaking 
through  their  megaphones)  Mistress  Pippin! 
Mistress  Pippin !  Wake  up  and  come  out  of  your 
home.  The  Justice  wants  you  on  the  witness 
stand. 

(Pretty  Mistress  Pippin  comes  out  of  the  pile 

of  apples  and  courtesies  shyly.      The  other  fairies 

applaud.    Justice  Whiskers  looks  uncomfortable  and 

raps  on  his  pumpkin  with  his  mallet.) 

HERALDS  (whispering  together)  He  !  he  !  The 
Justice  wants  to  be  the  center  of  attraction  him- 
self! He!  he! 

WHISKERS  (raps  for  order)  Mistress  Pippin,  I 
understand.  (Severely.)  You  were  leading  the  or- 
chestra from  the  stump  of  the  blasted  oak  in  the 
forest  last  night  when  the  Queen  was  dancing. 

MISTRESS  PIPPIN  You  are  correct,  sir.  (She 
courtesies  again  coyly.)  That  was  just  before  Her 
Majesty  disappeared. 

WHISKERS  You  were  her  best  friend  and  must 
have  been  in  her  confidence.  What  in  your  opinion 
has  happened  to  Her  Majesty?  Was  she  kid- 
napped? Did  she  meet  with  an  accident?  Or  do 
you  know  of  her  having  formed  some  plan  of  run- 
ning away? 

(The  elves  are  all  attention,  lorgnettes  and  spy- 


io8        JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL 

glasses  are  leveled  at  Mistress  Pippin.    She  wags  her 

head,  points  her  toes  and  giggles.) 

MISTRESS  PIPPIN  I  don't  know,  I'm  sure.  I've 
no  idea. 

(The  Justice  frowns,  the  elves  hoot,  AI  is  tress 

Pippin  is  frightened  and  skips  back  into  her  pile  of 

apples.     The  Justice  raps  with  his  mallet,  the  noise 

ceases.) 

fVHISKERS  She's  no  good  as  a  witness.  Bring 
on  another. 

HERALDS  (through  megaphone)  Mistress  Peach 
next,  please.  (Pointing.)  Come  over  here  and  tell 
us  what  you  know.  You  think  your  red  cheeks  are 
mighty  pretty,  don't  you? 

JVHISKERS  Come  nearer.  Hurry  up !  (She  lin- 
gers.) Hurry  up,  I  say.  You  are  nearly  as  pretty 
as  the  lost  Queen,  though  you  are  a  naughty  mon- 
key, and  she  is  good. 

MISTRESS  PEACH  (saucily)  I'll  not  hurry  for 
any  big-wig  who  ever  lived,  not  even  for  one  so 
renowned  as  Justice  Whiskers.  (She  dances  leis- 
urely up  to  the  Justice  and  sings.) 

Hello,  Mistress  Pippin, 
Are  all  the  fairies  here? 
You're  such  a  little  dear — 
I'm  glad  you  are  my  friend; 
On  me  you  may  depend — 
I'll  serve  you  till  the  end — 
Do  you  hear? 


JUSTICE   WHISKERS'  TRIAL        109 

Hello,  Mr.  Chestnut, 

Please  tell  me  where  you've  been? 

You  haven't  burst  your  skin  1 

A  chestnut  once  boasted, 

And  so  he  got  roasted ! 

You'd  better  keep  posted — 

Do  you  hear? 
Hello,  Mr.  Popcorn, 
You're  getting  such  a  fop. 
It's  high  time  you  should  pop ! 
You'll  turn  white  in  a  night, 
And  'twill  serve  you  just  right  1 
You  had  better  sit  tight — 

Do  you  hear? 
Hello,  Mr.  Whiskers, 
Come  kiss  me  if  you  dare — 
In  Court  all  things  are  fair! 
I  know  all  about  you — 
That  is  why  I  flout  you, 
Laugh  at  you  and  scout  you — 

Do  you  hear? 

REFRAIN 
I'm   right  here  on  the  dot. 
I  do  not  care  a  jot 
What  Justice  Whiskers  says; 
I  know  it  was  a  plot, 
Hippity  hop,  hippity  hop ! 
WHISKERS  (chucks  her  under  the  chin  and  tickles 
her   zvith    a   feathery    piece    of    asparagus   vine) 


no        JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL 

What  do  you  think  has  become  of  the  Queen,  eh? 
You  were  playing  the  harp  at  the  back  of  the  or- 
chestra last  night  and  ought  to  have  some  notion 
about  it. 

MISTRESS  PEACH  You  know  more  about  our 
Queen  than  I  do.  I  was  playing  the  harp,  as  you 
say,  and  it  was  near  the  climax  of  the  piece  when 
the  Berry  Queen  stood  up  on  her  toes,  kissed  her 
hands  to  her  audience  (she  does  the  same  and 
dances),  and  then  she  disappeared.  You,  Justice, 
were  in  the  bald-headed  row.  You  got  up  and 
followed  her.  You  were  out  all  night.  You  have 
only  just  come  back  in  time  to  open  court.  (Boldly.) 
What  did  you  do  with  the  Berry  Queen? 

(All  the  fairies  become  excited  and  crowd  about 

the  pumpkin,  shouting  and  shaking  their  fists.) 

ELVES  What  did  you  do  with  the  Berry  Queen  ? 

(They  attack  him,  and  he  climbs  onto  his  pump- 
kin and  dodges  around  behind  stem.  Elves  shout  in 
derision.) 

WHISKERS  It  is  true,  I  did  leave  the  forest  last 
night,  but  I  didn't  know  that  the  Queen  had  disap- 
peared until  I  returned  this  afternoon. 

ELVES  (in  chorus)     Where  were  you? 

WHISKERS     Listen  to  me,  people  of  many  king- 
doms.    I  will  tell  you  of  my  adventures,  that  you 
may  see  I  did  not  spirit  away  the  Berry  Queen. 
(The  fairies  become  quiet,  the  Justice  fans  him- 
self with  a  beet-leaf.) 


JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL        iii 

ELVES   (in  chorus)      Tell  us,   tell  us ! 
WHISKERS     I    heard   the    Berry    Queen    say    she 

wanted  more  jewels  for  her  crown;  that  she  would 

marry  the  man  who  would  get  them  for  her. 
MISTRESS  PEACH  (saucily)    Did  you  find  them? 

And  is  she  going  to  marry  you? 
WHISKERS    Alas  !  she  has  disappeared.    Wait,  my 

child.    You  know  what  a  dangerous  journey  it  is  to 

the  Painted  Desert,  where  the  Petrified  Forest  is, 

the  fairies'  jewel  shop. 
MISTRESS  PIPPIN     So  you  braved  all  the  dan- 
gers for  her !    How  did  you  get  there  ? 
WHISKERS     The   bats   helped  me   at   night,   the 

birds  in  the  daytime. 
MISTRESS  PEACH     Didn't  you  meet  humans? 

Weren't  you  frightened? 
WHISKERS     I  hid  in  foxes'  holes  when  they  came 

along. 
MISTRESS  PEACH   Well,  what  did  you  see  when 

you  got  there? 
WHISKERS    I  found  a  flat  land  of  burning  yellow 

sand  with  huge  trunks  of  trees  half  hidden  in  the 

golden  grains. 
HERALDS    (always    dancing    when    they    speak) 

How  strange ! 
WHISKERS    Chips  of  these  trees  had  been  broken 

off,  and  the  ground  was  covered  with  them. 
MISTRESS  PIPPIN  Were  they  pretty? 
WHISKERS    Yes.     Beautiful  tiny  pieces  were  red 

like    rubies,   others   green   like   emeralds   or  pale 


112         JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL 

blue  like  tourmalines.     All  were  mine  for  the  tak- 
ing, and  I  filled  my  pockets  with  them. 
HERALDS  (excitedly)     Show  them  to  us !     Show 

them  to  us ! 
MISTRESS  PEACH  I'd  like  one,  please.  (Holding 

out  her  hand.) 
WHISKERS   (sadly  wagging  his  head  and  wiping 

his  eyes  with  a  bandanna  handkerchief)     Alas !  I 

haven't  any  jewels  now. 
HERALDS   We  don't  believe  you.     You  are  hiding 

them.     Where  are  they? 
MISTRESS  PEACH    You're  making  believe,  you 

clever  old  goblin.     You  never  went  to  the  fairies' 

jewel  shop  at  all.    Here,  cross  your  heart.    Truly, 

truly,  black  and  bluely? 
WHISKERS  (crosses  his  heart)    It  is  true,  I  went. 

But  coming  back  the  birds  and  the  bats  demanded 

payment,  as  well  as  the  foxes,  too. 
MISTRESS  PEACH   (disappointed)      There   are 

no  jewels  left? 
WHISKERS  Only  this  one  that  I  saved  for  the  good 

Berry  Queen,  and  now,  alas!  she  has  disappeared, 

so  I  fear  there  will  be  no  wedding. 

(Whiskers  shows  a  big  ruby  and  wipes  his  eyes. 
The  elves  gather  about  him  again.) 
MISTRESS  PEACH   Do  you  really  love  her? 
WHISKERS    Yes,  I  love  the  Berry  Queen,  and  I 

want  her  for  my  wife.     Help  me,  you  people  of 

many  kingdoms,  to  find  the  beautiful  queen. 


JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL        113 

HERALDS  We'll  hunt.    (They  dance,  waving  their 
megaphones.) 
Oh  dear!  we've  stirred  up  a  bad  fire  fairy! 
(Fire  fairy  comes  from  pile  of  dead  leaves  and 
dances;  others  stream  in  after  her.) 
MISTRESS  PIPPIN   You  are  just  an  old  Chestnut 
(pointing  at  him).    Look  out  or  you'll  get  roasted ! 
CHESTNUT     You'll   get  roasted  yourself,   Miss 

Apple, 
POPCORN   Oh  dear!    I'm  afraid  I  may  pop  if  fire 

comes  too  near  me. 
MISTRESS  PIPPIN    Pop  the  question?  please  do! 
Poppity  Pop,  goes  the  corn. 
He's  leaving  us  all  forlorn; 
Like  the  chestnut,  he  boasted, 
And  the  chestnut  got  roasted, 
Poppity  Pop,  goes  the  corn ! 
(Joins  the  mad  race  about  the  stage,  the  fire  fairies 
streaming  after  her  in  hot  pursuit — all  shouting  and 
hooting  and  screaming;  as  they  pass  to  the  hack 
of  stage,  the  Berry  Queen  steps  out  from  almost 
beneath  the  pumpkin,  where  she  has  been  hidden 
by  the  leaves  of  the  vine.) 
BERRY  QUEEN    What  is  all  this  noise?     Have 
you  all  gone  mad? 

(Seeing  her,   the  elves  stop  running  from   the 
fire  fairy  and  gather  about  her,  cheering  lustily.) 
ELVES    Hurrah!  hurrah! 
BERRY  OUEEN  What  is  the  matter? 


114        JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL 

ELVES    Hurrah!    She's  come  back! 

BERRY  QUEEN    But  I've  been  here  all  the  time! 

I  went  to  sleep  rocking  a  baby  elf  that  was  taking 

her  nap  in  a  pea-pod  cradle.     It  grew  very  warm 

and  I  woke  up.    Why  were  you  all  running? 
FIRE  FAIRIES  (streaming  down  stage)   Whurroo  ! 

whurroo  !  whurroo  !  sssscatter ! 

(Elves  rush  about  like  autumn  leaves  in  a  wind; 
Berry  Queen  turns  to  Whiskers,  zvho  helps  her  mount 
to  top  of  pumpkin  out  of  danger.) 
WHISKERS  (standing  on  his  pumpkin)    I've  got  the 

ruby  for  you  !    Will  you  marry  me  even  if  I  am  old  ? 
BERRY  QUEEN    What  a  brave  and  wise  justice 

you  are,  indeed  !    I  will  if  we  can  ever  get  rid  of  the 

fire  fairies,  for  I  love  you. 
WHISKERS    How  happy  I  am  I  have  found  you, 

and  you  are  willing  to  marry  me;  but  oh  dear!  I 

am  powerless  to  stop  the  fire  fairies. 
BERRY  QUEEN     Hurry  and  think  what  we  had 

better  do.     We  shall  be  burned ! 
ELFES  We  shall  be  burned !     Hurry ! 
BERRY  QUEEN    Can't  you  think  of  some  way  to 

stop  the  fire  fairies,  you  are  so  clever,  Whiskers? 

They  may  ruin  our  kingdom  and  destroy  us,  too. 
WHISKERS    Well,  let  us  call  on  the  snow  fairies ! 

Maybe  they  will  help  us.     Heralds,  summon  them. 

They  hate  fire  mortally  and  will  put  it  out  per- 
haps. 
HERALDS     Come,  Snow  Fairies,  and  put  out  the 

wicked  fire  fairies. 


JUSTICE  WHISKERS'  TRIAL        115 

(During  the  excitement  JFhiskers  turns  into  a 
young  man.      Snow  fairies  appear  and  whirl  about, 
making  everything  pretty  with  sparkling  snow  pow- 
der.     They  draw  near  to  the  fire  fairies,  then  retreat; 
as  the  leaders  of  fire  and  snow  fairies  fence,  the  other 
fire  fairies  disappear  in   the  wings,   the  elves   come 
trooping  back  and  watch  the  fencing;  finally  the  fire 
fairy  turns  black  and  falls  to  the  ground  and  disap- 
pears; the  Berry  Queen  takes  his  hand.) 
BERRY  QUEEN  (looking  at  ruby)     You  are  the 
most  handsome  Prince  in  all  the  world,  and  with 
this  jewel  my  crown  will  be  finer  than  any  other 
queen's. 
MISTRESS  PEACH    Forward  minx! 

Chorus 
All  hail  to  our  new  King 

And  to  his  Berry  Queen; 
Long  may  they  reign  together, 

The  happiest  ever  seen ! 
The  wicked  fire  fairies 

Have  all  been  put  to  flight, 
There's  peace  within  our  kingdom — 

So  now  we'll  say  good-night! 

CURTAIN 


THE    WITCH     OF    THE    WOODS 
A  Play  in  One  Act 


Characters : 

ToTSY,  The  Flower  Child. 
Toots — her  older  sister. 
Bob  White — a  bad  boy. 
Tinklebell — a   garden  flower. 
The  Witch. 
Bumblebee. 

CHORUS — Crows,  Bumblebees  and  Flower  Fairies 


THE    WITCH    OF    THE    WOODS 


Scene :     The  stage    is  set  to  represent  a  garden 
with  large  trees  and  forest  vistas  at  back  and  right. 
Entrance  from  house,  not  seen,  at  left.     Time:  Sun- 
rise of  a  September  morning.    As  sun  appears  above 
horizon,  Totsy  enters  left,  running.    Totsy  is  a  little 
girl  about  six  years  old  dressed  in  A lice-in- Wonder- 
land style — short-sleeved  frock,  white  socks,  ankle- 
ties,  hair  loose  about  shoulders.    She  is  a  little  flower 
herself — her  eyes  like  the  bluebells,  her  hair  like  the 
buttercups,  and  her  cheeks  as  pink  as  the  wild  azalea. 
TOTSY   (looking  at  the  flowers)      Pretty!  pretty! 
I  want  you  all.    Why,  I  b'lieve  you're  alive  !  You've 
got  eleventy  thousand  eyes,  and  they  are  everyone 
looking  at  me  !     I'm  going  to  pick  some  roses.  Oh ! 
the  stems  prick  me,  'cause  the  roses  don't  want  to 
be   picked.     There's  a   bumblebee!      P'raps  he'll 
show  me  some  forest  flowers  that  do  want  to  be 
picked. 

(Bumblebee  comes  in,  buzzes  about  and  gives  a 
funny  dance,  then  flies  of  toward  the  woods.  Totsy 
follows   the  bumblebee  about  and  runs  in   and  out 


I20  WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS 

among  the  trees,  approaching  a  clump  of  hushes  with 
dangling  yellow  flowers  in  a  little  dell;  she  begins  to 
talk  to  them  and  pick  them;  she  jumps  as  they  hurst 
and  fly  out  of  her  hands.) 

TOTSY  You  lovely  flowers,  you  want  to  be  picked, 
don't  you?  Oo  !  You  jump  right  out  of  my  fingers  ! 
You  don't  want  to  be  picked,  after  all.  (Looks  up 
and  discovers  something  else.)  There's  a  big  red 
flower!    I'll  get  that. 

(Totsy  skips  further  into  the  woods.  A  tall,  dark 
shadow  is  seen  among  the  trees;  it  approaches  stealth- 
ily nearer  and  nearer  to  Totsy;  it  comes  between  her 
and  the  garden;  she  looks  up,  frightened,  gives  a  little 
scream,  runs  off  to  one  side  and  is  hidden  by  the  tree 
trunks;  the  shadow  follows.  Totsy's  older  sister, 
Toots,  comes  into  the  garden.  Toots  is  about  sixteen, 
young-ladyish  in  manner,  hair  done  up,  very  dignified 
and  proper.) 

TOOTS  What  can  have  become  of  Totsy?  She 
must  have  run  into  the  woods,  and  I  don't  know 
what  will  happen  to  her  there.  (Toots  is  dis- 
tressed.)  Totsy,  Totsy,  where  are  you  ? 

(No  answer.  Suddenly  Bob  White,  brother  of 
the  girls,  jumps  out  from  behind  a  bush  with  a  shrill 
whistle.  Bob  is  a  lively  lad,  several  years  older  than 
Totsy ;  wears  soft  white  shirt,  buff  knee-breeches,  short 
black  socks  and  shoes.  He  has  a  sling  in  his  hands  and 
picks  flowers  and  throws  them  away  as  he  talks.) 
BOB    Where  is  Totsy?     In  bed? 


WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS  121 

TOOTS  No,  she  isn't  in  the  house.  She  must  have 
run  into  the  forest,  and  I'm  afraid  she  will  get 
lost. 

BOB  Hm !  I'll  find  her.  I'm  going  snaring  birds. 
Nothing  will  hurt  me. 

(He  disappears  in  the  woods.   A  flutter  of  white 

is  seen,  then  Totsy  comes  running  down  the  path  into 

the  garden.    Toots  catches  Totsy  in  her  arms.) 

TOTSY    The  witch!     Oh,  don't  let  it  get  me  I 

TOOTS  (severely)    Why,  where  have  you  been? 

TOTSY  I  followed  the  bumblebee.  I  thought  he 
would  show  me  some  forest  flowers  that  wanted 
to  be  picked.  The  roses  in  the  garden  didn't  want 
to  be  at  all,  and  they  pricked  me. 

TOOTS  Well,  didn't  you  get  any  in  the  forest? 

TOTSY  No.  The  witch  frightened  me  before  I 
could  get  any.  I  tried  to  pick  a  dear  little  flower, 
but  when  I  touched  it,  it  jumped.  It  jumped  the 
way  popcorn  does  when  you  pop  it  on  the  stove. 

TOOTS   Oh,  that  must  have  been  the  touch-me-not! 

TOTSY  Yes.  It  wants  to  say,  "I'll  snap  if  you 
touch  me !"  Then  I  saw  something  red  and  I 
ran  after  that,  but  it  wasn't  a  flower  at  all,  only 
a  leaf. 

TOOTS  Why,  the  bumblebee  has  stung  you,  poor 
child! 

TOTSY  Yes;  it  hurts.  And  then  what  do  you  s'pose? 
I  saw  a  big  dark  thing,  like  a  shadow,  with  black 
eyes  that  frightened  me  !    And  it  had  wings ! 


122  WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS 

TOOTS      Nonsense,    dear — you    must    have    been 

dreaming ! 
TOTSY   No!    I  ran  just  as  quick  as  quick,  till  I  got 

to  the   garden.      I   don't  b'lieve   I'll   go   into   the 

woods  any  more. 

(Totsy  pauses,  out  of  breath.    A  crow  hops  in 
and  about  the  garden,  gives  a  comical  dance,  flaps  its 
wings  and  hops  out  again.      The  crow  may  wear  a 
black  domino  and  tnask.) 
TOOTS   (laughing)     It  was  only  an  old  crow  you 

saw.     Don't  be  frightened.    Nothing  can  hurt  you 

here,  so  near  the  house.      (Sits  down  on  a  rock, 

comforting  Totsy.) 
TOTSY    Tell  me,  are  the  flowers  alive,  and  don't 

they  want  to  be  picked? 
TOOTS  I'll  tell  you  a  great  secret  about  them,  Totsy, 

but  first  you  must  promise  me  not  to  go  into  the 

woods  again  alone. 
TOTSY    I  won't  never  go.    Truly  honest,  I  won't. 
TOOTS     Well,  the   flowers  and  trees  are  alive,   I 

think,  and  they  are  looking  at  you,  everyone,  this 

very  minute,  right  here  in  the  garden. 
TOTSY   Why  don't  they  speak  to  me,  then? 
TOOTS    Perhaps  they  will  some  day  if  they  see  you 

have  real  love  for  them.    The  trees  are  alive  like 

the  flowers,  and  they  all  come  to  my  forest  school. 

My  best  pupils   are   the   Misses   Maple   and  the 

Birch  twins. 
TOTSY  (pointing)    Do  Miss  Beech  and  Miss  Pine 

come,  too? 


WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS  123 

TOOTS  Yes,  and  the  Poplars  are  the  under  teach- 
ers, because  they  are  tall  and  gray,  like  maiden 
ladies. 

TOTSY  Trees  in  school!  They  must  be  funny 
scholars!   What  do  you  teach  them? 

TOOTS  I  do  a  little  pruning  with  my  hatchet  to 
correct  their  faults.  I  tell  them  to  stand  erect  and 
to  drink  in  the  golden  sunshine,  like  good  children, 
so  that  they  will  grow  big  and  strong.  Which  tree 
do  you  like  best,  Totsy? 

TOTSY  I  b'lieve  I  like  the  Birch  twins  best.  Tell 
me  about  them,  please. 

TOOTS  Aren't  they  shy  little  trees?  See,  they  put 
their  heads  together  and  tremble.  They  are  turn- 
ing yellow.  I  fear  Jack  Frost  came  at  recess  and 
gave  them  the  jaundice.    What  do  you  think? 

TOTSY  I  b'lieve  he  did.  When  I  had  the  jaundice 
I  looked  just  like  that. 

TOOTS  They  will  soon  get  over  it,  for  good  Nurse 
Snow  will  come  to  take  off  their  clothes  and  tuck 
them  up  in  their  white  bed.  In  the  spring  they  will 
wake  up  quite  well  and  put  forth  their  little  new 
leaves.  Don't  you  think  the  Maple  girls  are  pretty? 

TOTSY  Yes.  See  what  pink  cheeks  they  have. 
They're  blushing. 

TOOTS  That's  because  Boreas,  the  north  wind,  has 
made  them  a  visit.  Miss  Oak  is  red  with  anger; 
she  does  not  approve  of  visitors. 

TOTSY  Miss  Pine  is  green  'cause  she's  jealous.  I 
hear  the  flowers  singing. 


124  WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS 

TOOTS  Can  it  be  the  bumblebee — or  are  the  flow- 
ers really  singing? 

(While  the  bee  buzzes  about,  flower  fairies  peep 
out  from   behind   the   trees   while    Tinklebell  sings. 
Tissue  and  crepe  paper  may  be  used  freely  in  the 
costumes  of  the  flower  fairies.) 
I  am  Tinklebell, 

Oh,  Fuzzy-buzzy  Bee ! 
I've  a  secret  to  tell. 

If  you'll  listen  to  me. 
Oh,  please,   Mister  Bee, 
Do  listen  to  me, 
Just  a  wee ! 

My  heart's  in  this  dell 

With  a  Fuzzy-buzz  Bee; 
'Tis  love  like  a  spell 
He's  cast  over  me. 
Oh,  please.  Mister  Bee, 
Couldn't  you  love  me, 
Just  a  wee? 
(Bob  White  bursts  in  again  with  a  loud  whoop, 
which  frightens  the  girls  and  causes  the  fairies   to 
disappear.) 

BOB  Pooh!  I  knew  Totsy  would  turn  up.  No 
use  to  worry  about  her.  I  heard  what  Toots 
was  saying  about  flowers  singing  and  all  such  non- 
sense. Don't  you  believe  a  word  of  it,  Totsy  girl. 
It's  all  bosh!  Ha!  ha!  who  ever  heard  of  a 
flower  singing?     Did  you  see  a  crow  fly  by? 


WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS  125 

TOOTS  Witches  take  you,  you  bad  boyl  Aren't 
you  ashamed  to  kill  old  crows  and  pick  pretty 
flowers  just  to  throw  them  away? 

BOB  I  like  to  pull  the  legs  off  the  bumblebees,  too, 
and  I  mean  to  keep  on  doing  it. 

TOTSY  The  witch  will  get  you  if  you're  not  care- 
ful. 

BOB  Ha !  ha !  the  witches  get  me  for  doing  such 
things  !    Ha  !  ha  ! 

(Wind  and  thunder  are  heard.    The  lights  grow 

dim.) 

TOOTS    I'm  sure  a  witch  is  coming  this  minute. 
(fVitch  appears.     The  witch  should  have  straggly 

gray  hair,  pointed  black  wings,  veined  like  a  bat's, 

and  a  fantastic  dress  of  brown  tissue  paper  cut  to 

suggest  dead  leaves.     Witch  sings  as  she  enters :) 

The  Witch  of  the  Woods  am  I — 

My  time  I  bide, 

I  crouch,  I  hide, 

I  run,  I  ride — 
The  Witch  of  the  Woods  am  I ! 

The  Witch  of  the  Woods  am  I — 

I  draw  my  cowl, 

I   sulk,   I   scowl, 

I  lurk,  and  prowl — 
The  Witch  of  the  Woods  am  I! 


126  WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS 

TOTSY  (frightened)     I  saw  her  in  the  woods! 

(Crows   and  bumblebees  enter  with   the  witch 

and  give  a  dance  while  the  others  look  on.     They 

side-step,    double-shuffle,    and   go    through    a    cake- 
walk.) 

WITCH  (in  a  deep  voice)  Now  we  have  you  at 
last !     (Shakes  stick  at  Bob.) 

CROWS     Caw — aw — caw! 

BUMBLEBEES    Bzzzz! 

TOTSY  Please,  what  are  you  going  to  do  with  us? 
I  never  killed  an  old  crow  nor  pulled  off  the  legs 
of  bumblebees,  nor  picked  flowers  just  to  throw 
them  away,  either. 

WITCH  I'll  see  about  you.  We  want  your  bad 
brother  first.  He  kills  birds  and  flowers,  and 
pulls  off  the  legs  of  bumblebees.  Bats  fly  after 
him;  black  cats  spit  at  him;  he  is  so  bad. 

(/4ll  chase  the  boy  round  and  round  the  stage, 

in  and  out  among  the  trees.) 

WITCH  (severely,  looking  at  Totsy )  It  is  true  the 
flowers  are  alive,  and  they  have  feelings  just  as 
you  have.  If  you  must  pick  them,  be  sure  you  put 
them  in  water.     (Shakes  her  stick  at  Totsy.) 

TOTSY  (crying)  Please  don't  look  at  me  that  way. 
I  always  do  put  them  in  water.  The  only  thing 
I've  done  is  to  take  fairies'  sugar  from  the  trum- 
pet of  the  honeysuckle. 

BUMBLEBEE  Honey  is  mine !  You've  robbed  me ! 
(Buzzes  about  Totsy.    She  runs  away.) 


WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS  127 

TOTSY  (still  crying)  You've  punished  me  already 
with  your  sting. 

JVITCH  Leave  her  alone.  Do  you  hear?  (Bum- 
blebee stops.)    It  is  Bob  White  we  want. 

TOOTS  (to  Bob)     It  serves  you  just  right. 

JVITCH  (thumping  on  the  ground  with  her  stick) 
Ready !  We  will  take  this  rascal  into  our  wood 
kingdom  in  punishment  for  his  misdeeds.  As  he 
has  robbed  us  of  our  playmates,  I  will  turn  him 
into  a  bird  himself — into  a  little  brown  bird  that 
runs  about  in  the  field,  but  whistles  like  this  (gives 
whistle),  and  has  the  very  same  name  as  you.  Bob 
White. 

(Storm  grows  louder.) 

WITCH    Presto,  change! 

(Darkness.    Witch  and  followers  disappear,  and 

also  the  boy.      The  whistle  of  Bob  White  is  heard 

again  in  the  distance.    Lights  come  up.) 

TOOTS  So  he's  gone.  Well,  he  deserves  it,  but 
I'm   sorry   for  him,   after  all. 

TOTSY  (crying)  The  flowers  will  b'lieve  we're 
all  bad,  and  they  won't  never  speak  to  me.  I  do 
love  them  so,  everyone. 

TOOTS  (severely)  Why  did  you  come  out  here, 
anyway,  so  early  in  the  morning?  All  these  things 
might  never  have  happened  if  you  had  stayed  in 
the  house,  I  followed  you,  so  you  wouldn't  get 
lost. 

TOTSY  (crying)    I  wanted  to  pick  some  flowers  for 


128  WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS 

Mother,  poor  Mother,  who  is  ill.     Oh  dear!  oh 

dear! 

(A  flower  moves.) 
TOOTS    What  is  that  I  see? 
TOTSY  (half  sobbing)     Just  a  flower  moving. 
TOOTS    A  bluebell! 
TOTSY   (brightening  up)      Tinklebell   I   call   her. 

Look,  she's  dancing! 
TINKLEBELL     (a  golden-haired  child  in  a  short- 

waisted  gown   of  harebell  blue,  with  pale  green 

slippers  and  stockings,  dancing  as  she  speaks)    Pick 

us,  pick  us.     We  didn't  understand  you  loved  us. 

We   didn't  know  what  you  were   doing  here   so 

early  in  the  morning. 
TOTSY    The  flower  is  talking!     She  is  talking  to 

me,  and  dancing!    So  flowers  are  alive!    Then  you 

love  me  really,  and  the  trees  do,  too? 
(The  branches  nod  to  her.) 
TINKLEBELL    Pick  us,  pick  us,  dear  Totsy. 
TOTSY     You  want  to  be  picked  truly,  black  and 

bluely?     But  doesn't  it  hurt  you  dreadfully  to  be 

broken,   if  you  are  alive?  It  must  hurt  as  much 

as  the  collywobbles. 
TINKLEBELL     The  pain  is  as  nothing  if  we  are 

loved  and  can  make  people  happy.     Take  us  to 

your  mother. 

(Other  flowers  awake  and  dance.) 
FLOWERS    Now  we  know  you  love  us.     We  will 

call   you    Flower    Child,    for   we    love    you,    too. 

Come — dance  with  us. 


WITCH  OF  THE  WOODS  129 

(The  witch,  crows  and  bumblebees  return.    Bob 
JVhite's  whistle  is  heard  faintly.) 
TOTSY      Now   the   flowers   love   me,    I   want   my 

brother  Bob  again.    (To  the  witch.)  Please  don't 

always  keep  him  a  bird.     I  b'lieve  he'll  be  good 

to  the  flowers  now,  and  he  won't  kill  your  crows 

any  more. 
TINKLEBELL    Spare  him!  spare  him!    Give  him 

another  chance !    Make  him  a  boy  again. 
WITCH    No;  he  has  made  crows  and  bees  suffer; 

he  must  bear  his  punishment. 
TOTSY  (crying)     Can't  he  never  be  a  boy  again? 
WITCH  (softening)    He  shall  be  a  boy  again  if  he 

ever  is  truly  sorry  for  what  he  has  done  to  the 

forest  folk.     Till  then  he  must  be  a  bird. 
TINKLEBELL      Cheer  up,   Totsy!      When   Bob 

comes  to  know  us  better  he'll  soon  be  sorry  he  ever 

hurt  us. 
FLOWERS  (dancing  around  Totsy)    Now  you  may 

be  happy.    Take  us  to  your  mother. 
CHORUS  (Flower  fairies.    Totsy  stands  center,  the 

flowers  grouped  about  her.      Fairies   repeat   the 

song,  "I  am  Tinklebell." ) 

CURTAIN 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY 
A  Fairy  Extravaganza 


Characters : 

Little  Madcap. 

Granny  Merry  Twinkle. 

Miss  Lively  Toes. 

The  Wind  Imp — a  juggler. 

Jack  Frost — an  artist. 

Santa   Claus. 

Mrs.  Santa. 

Chorus:      Snowflake    Fairies,    Bears,    Bunnies    and 

Squirrels,  the  Cuckoo,  and  the  Live  Doll. 
Time :     The   day  before   Christmas  of  the  Present 

Year. 


LITTLE     MADCAP'S     JOURNEY 

A    FAIRY    EXTRAVAGANZA    IN   THREE    ACTS 
Act  One 

The  scene  represents  a  child's  nursery;  the  wall 
paper  has  pictures  of  fairies;  a  tall  cuckoo  clock  strikes 
in  the  corner;  an  open  fire  is  burning  on  the  hearth, 
and  plants  are  blooming  in  the  window  boxes;  to  onf 
side  is  a  child' s  crib  and  a  sofa;  by  the  fire  is  a  rocking 
chair,  and  near  the  door  at  the  back  of  the  stage  is  a 
large  clothes  basket. 

At  the  rise  of  the  curtain  Granny  Merry 
Twinkle  is  discovered  sitting  in  front  of  the  open  fire 
knitting  away  in  her  rocking  chair;  she  is  a  sprightly 
old  lady,  neatly  dressed  in  gray  with  a  white  cap  upon 
her  head  and  spectacles  upon  her  nose.  Little  Madcap, 
aged  six,  is  sitting  on  the  floor  nearby,  surrounded  by 
toys  and  dolls. 

Christmas  music  is  played  softly  during  dialogue. 

GRANNY   I  think,  Little  Madcap,  it  would  be  nice 

if  you  went  and  made  your  Aunt  across  the  way 

a  little  visit  before  it  gets  dark.     Remember,  it  is 

Christmas  Eve ! 


134      LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY 

MADCAP    It's  awfully  poky  at  Aunt's 

(The  child  gets  up  from  the  floor  and  goes  to  the 
door  opening  upon  the  garden.  As  she  opens  the  door 
just  a  crack  Miss  Lively  Toes,  a  fairy  dressed  like  a 
snowflake  in  white  feathers  or  swansdozvn  with  many 
sparkling  brilliants,  slips  in.  Madcap  is  speechless 
zvith  delight.) 
LI F ELY   TOES   (whispers)     My  name  is  Lively 

Toes.     Please  don't  go  out  this  afternoon,  for  I 

have  come  a  long  way  to  play  with  you. 

(Snowflake  Twirl,  danced  by  Lively  Toes,  who 
jumps  into  the  clothes  basket  as  Granny  turns  half 
around;  the  lid  shuts  with  a  snap  and  the  old  lady 
jumps.) 

GRANNY   Why,  what  was  that,  child? 
MADCAP     It  was  Miss  Lively  Toes  getting  into 

the  clothes  basket,  Granny. 
GRANNY   Fiddlesticks!    Such  make-believe  I  never 

heard.     Run  and  put  your  things  on. 
MADCAP    I'm  opening  the  door  to  show  you  that 

the  snow  feathers  are  flying.     Father  Christmas 

is  plucking  his  geese,  so  how  can  I  go  out,  Granny 

dear?     I  might  get  snowed  under. 

(Flibity  Gibbets  music.  Madcap  opens  the  door 
again;  this  time  in  jumps  the  Wind  Imp,  dressed  in 
leaves  and  wisps  of  straw;  he  glides  over  to  Granny's 
chair  and  tickles  her  nose  with  a  straw  from  behind, 
then  hops  into  the  big  basket.) 


LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY       135 

GRANNY  (Twitching  and  sneezing)  Gramercyl 
I  should  think  you  did  open  the  door!  But  non- 
sense, a  great  big  girl  like  you  is  not  afraid  of  a 
little  snow;  of  course  you  must  go  to  Aunt's  just 
the  same, 

(The  child  mischievously  tiptoes  to  the  door 
again,  making  funny  faces  behind  Granny's  back; 
this  time  when  the  door  is  opened  Jack  Frost  jumps  in; 
he  is  dressed  in  jacket  and  trousers  and  cap  of  shiny 
white;  his  face  is  whitened  and  he  carries  a  big  paint- 
brush; he  blows  on  Granny's  fingers  and  she  drops  her 
knitting.) 

GRANNY  Bless  and  save  us  I  My  hands  are  so 
stiff  with  the  cold  that  I  cannot  knit! 

(Humpty  Dumpty  music.  Jack  Frost  capers 
about  and  hops  behind  the  basket;  Lively  Toes  sits 
on  the  edge  of  the  basket  and  speaks  aside  to 
Madcap.) 

IJVELY  TOES  I'm  glad  the  Twins  have  come. 
My  brothers,  Jack  Frost  and  the  Wind  Imp;  this 
is  little  Madcap;  we'll  soon  have  some  fun. 
(Aside  to  her  brothers.)  Here's  a  beautiful  truly 
child.  We  must  get  her  somehow,  by  hook  or 
crook,  for  Mother  Santa  Claus. 

(The  lid  closes;  the  smoke  from  the  fire  comes 

out  into  the  room  in  curls  and  waves;  Granny  gets 

uneasy,  shudders  and  sneezes.) 

GRANNY    It  is  rather  stormy  and  cold.     But  see 

what  you  have  done,  you  little  rascal,  with  your  an- 

V 


136       LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY 

tics — you  have  made  the  fire  smoke.    {Pokes  fire.) 
I'm  going  to  lie  down  on  the  sofa  here  and  take 
a  nap.     Now  you  won't  have  anyone  to  play  with, 
unless  you  go  to  Aunt's  and  play  with  her. 
MADCAP  O  yes,  I  shall  have  someone  to  play  with. 
If  you  go  to  sleep  I'll  have  Miss  Lively  Toes  and 
the  Twins — Jack  Frost  and  the  Wind   Imp — to 
keep  me  company. 
GRANNY     Miss  Lively  Toes!     Miss  Imagination 
would  be  a  better  name  for  her,  I  guess.     Have  I 
ever  heard  of  the  Twins?     I  wonder  if  I  knew 
them  when   I  was   a   child.      (Wags   her  head.) 
Madcap  is  not  at  all  like  her  mother,  although  she 
has  her  mother's  eyes;  I  believe  she  is  more  like 
what  I  used  to  be — a  chip  of  the  old  block!    She 
wasn't  bom  on  Midsummer's  Night  for  nothing. 
(Elves    music.      When    the    old   lady    is   sound 
asleep  and  snoring  loudly  the  lid  of  the  basket  opens, 
and  the  fairies  hop  out  and,  catching  hold  of  Madcap, 
dance   about  her — all   the  same  at  first,    then   each 
breaking  into   his   special  dance.      Madcap   tries   to 
imitate  each  in  turn.    Jack  Frost  sings  "Little  Boy 
Blue."    During  the  song  the  Wind  Imp  does  sleight- 
of-hand    tricks;    toys    appear    and    disappear,    and 
Madcap  is  delighted.) 

LIVELY  TOES  (aside)     We've  made  a  good  be- 
ginning if  Granny  does  not  wake  and  spoil  our 
plans. 
WIND  IMP   Let's  see  what  is  in  that  closet. 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY       137 

(Madcap  opens  door;  Wind  Imp  rushes  in;  clat- 
ter of  dishes;  out  rolls  a  big  plum  cake.    Granny  turns 
over.) 
LIVELY  TOES  (anxiously)    Is  the  old  lady  going 

to  wake?     You  will  get  a  scolding,  Madcap,  for 

breaking  the  dishes  in  the  closet.     Granny  can't 

see  us  because  we  are  fairies, 
(Granny  snores  again.) 
WIND  IMP  (looks  at  cake)    Why  is  this  cake  like 

the  ocean  ?    Give  it  up  ?    Because  it  contains  many 

currants ! 

(They  each  take  a  bite  and  then  the  Wind  Imp 
gives  it  a  kick;  it  goes  soaring  up  out  of  sight  and 
does  not  come  down.  In  consternation  Madcap 
suggests.) 

MADCAP   There's  jam  in  the  closet. 
LIVELY  TOES  Good !  Let's  have  some. 

(All  three  make  a  dive  and  get  stuck  in  the  door 
for  a  moment  but  come  out  victoriously  with  the  jar 
of  jam;  they  all  stick  their  fingers  into  it  and  suck 
them  till  there  is  no  jam  left.  Clock  strikes;  all 
look  at  it.) 

WIND  IMP   What  is  it  that's  always  behind  time? 
LIVELY  TOES    The  back  of  a  clock,  silly. 
JACK  FROST  Let's  stop  this  clock!    I  wonder  if  it 

would  make   Christmas   Eve   go  on   forever.      It 

would  give  Father  Santy  so  much  more  time  foi 

his  rounds  to-night. 


138     LITTLE    MADCAP'S  JOURNEY 

ALL     Let's  try  and  see!     (They  gather  about  the 

clock.) 
WIND  IMP  I've  stopped  It !  Now  we'll  have  Christ- 
mas forever. 

(When  they  open  the  door  of  the  clock  out  hops 
a  cuckoo,  crying  ''Cuckoo,  cuckoo!"     They  all  jump 
and  laugh.) 
MADCAP  The  clock's  bewitched.     Do  you  suppose 

it's  a  fairy  clock? 
LIVELY  TOES    It's  nothing  but  a  saucy  cuckoo! 
WIND  IMP   Hooray! 

MADCAP  Cuckoo !    (Sings  while  bird  gives  Cuckoo 
Hop.) 

The  pretty  cuckoo   in  the  clock 

Sings  while  time  is  flying. 
If  that  clockie  tells  the  truth, 

Birdie  does  no  lying ! 
He  stands  upon  his  little  legs, 

Singing  just  as  clear  ! 
'Spose  he  had  some  little  eggs — 
Wouldn't  they  be  dear ! 

REFRAIN 
Cuck-oo  !  cuck-oo !  cuck-oo ! 
(All  dance.    Bird  hops  into  clock.) 
GRANNY    (half  asleep)      It's   time   you   went   to 

Aunt's,  Madcap. 
FAIRIES   Oh,  don't  go  just  yet! 
MADCAP   Well,  I'll  wait  just  a  little  bit  longer. 


LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY       139 

LIVELY  TOES   Now  let's  play  a  game.    WInkum? 
WIND  IMP    Let's  play  whiskerettes.     {All  crowd 

to   window  or  point  into   audience.)      There's   a 

man  with  a  moustache — that  counts  five. 
LIVELY  TOES    There's  one  with  side  whiskers — 

I'm  ahead!   He  counts  ten. 
JACK  FROST  (excitedly.)    That  chap  over  there 

has  a  goatee !    He  counts  fifteen. 
MADCAP  (clapping  her  hands.)    I  see  a  man  with 

a  long  beard — that  counts  twenty-three,  and  game 

for  me  I 

(Granny  snores.) 
LIVELY  TOES     This  is  a  good  moment  to  steal 

the  child  and  disappear.    Granny  is  fast  asleep. 
WIND  IMP     I  will  call  our  horses   of  the  air. 

(Whistles.    Tune  or  long  whistle  like  the  wind.) 
(Jack  Frost  paints  pictures  on  the  window  panes; 
Madcap  watches  him;  as  he  does  so  a  stuffed  goose 
flies  across  the  room.) 
MADCAP   What's  that? 
LIVELY  TOES    One  of  Father  Santy's  geese.     It's 

time  to  go   home.    Won't  you   come  with   us   to 

Santa  Claus's  house,  Madcap  dear? 
THE  TWINS  (capering)    Yes,  yes,  do  come  with 

us  to  Santa's  house ! 
MADCAP   (doubtfully)      But  won't   Granny  miss 

me? 
WIND  IMP  I  stopped  the  clock,  and  she  will  never 

know  you've  been  away  at  all ! 


I40     LITTLE    MADCAP'S  JOURNEY 

MADCAP  What's  It  like  there? 

LIVELY  TOES    Oh,  we  live  in  the  Christmas  Tree 

woods,  and  there  are  presents  and  cake  and  candy. 
MADCAP  (bravely)     Then  of  course  I'll  go  with 

you.     How  do  we  get  there  ? 
WIND  IMP  On  the  geese,  to  be  sure.    Jiminy,  but 

that  goose  of  mine  that  I  came  in  on  has  a  gait 

all  right!     He  must  have  gone  a  mile  a  minute 

clip ! 
JACK  FROST     Your  language,  old  man,  is  a  bit 

breezy,  but  I  suppose  it  is  only  to  be  expected. 
WIND  IMP    It's  never  so  biting  as  yours,  anyhow, 

old  fellow.     Besides,  you  must  be  nearly  as  old  as 

I  am! 

(Granny  sneezes.) 
LIVELY  TOES  Hurry  and  escape!    Granny  Merry 

Twinkle  is  waking. 
JACK  FROST     I  will  blow  on  her.     Cold  always 

makes  people  sleep. 

(He  blows — she  half  wakes  and  turns  over.  The 
door  opens  and  live  geese  come  onto  the  stage;  out- 
side the  door  one  large  goose  is  seen;  Madcap  takes 
a  red  cape  down  from  a  hook,  and  the  three  fairies 
help  her  to  mount  the  goose,  as  they  sing  "Santa 
Claus,"  from  "Echoes  from  Child  Land."  Chorus 
joins  in  behind  the  scenes.) 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY       141 

Act  Two 

This  scene  can  be  arranged  either  elaborately 
or  simply.  Late  afternoon,  sun  setting.  Santa  Claus's 
cave  in  the  Christmas  Tree  Woods :  a  great  cave  of 
colored  lights  and  icicles  extending  across  the  back 
of  the  stage  with  big  Christmas  trees  on  either  side; 
openings  in  cave.  In  the  center  at  the  back  Santa^S 
sleigh  can  be  seen,  filled  with  presents.  Or  the  scene 
can  be  a  snow  house  or  a  cabin  in  the  woods.  In  either 
case  there  must  be  Christmas  presents,  toys  and  dolls 
about,  ready  to  put  on  the  reindeer  sleigh.  A  canary 
hangs  in  a  cage  and  a  dog  lies  at  the  feet  of  Santa 
and  his  wife. 

Santa  and  Mrs.  Santa  are  discovered  at  work 

filling  stockings,  opening  letters  and  making  toys  at 

a  table  in  center.    Santa  is  a  fat,  jolly  old  fellow  in 

costume  of  red  with  white  fur  and  high  boots,  long 

gray  beard  and  a  cap;  Mrs.  Santa  is  dressed  in  red 

and  white  costume,  too,  short  skirt  and  high  boots.  As 

the   curtain   slowly   rises   Mrs.   Santa   sings    ''Little 

Stockings."     The  chorus  of  fairies  join  in,  but  they 

disappear  at  end  of  song.    During  the  reading  of  the 

letters  the  dolls  come  to  life,  play  tricks  and  dance. 

SANTA    What  a  lot  of  work  we  have  to  do!     It 

never  seems  to  be  at  an  end,  and  we  have  been 

working  hard  this  whole  year.     The  children  are 

always  clamoring   for  more   presents.      I   wonder 


142       LIITTLE  MA(DCAP'S  JOURNEY 

how  many  bags  are  filled  and  ready  to  start  on  the 
sleigh  to-night;  I  believe  there  are  more  presents 
to  be  distributed  than  ever  before. 

MRS.  SANTA  Yes,  a  good  many  children  have 
come  into  the  world  out  of  their  eggshells  since 
last  Christmas. 

SANTA  I  have  done  with  this  work.  (Shows  toy.) 
I  wanted  to  finish  that  without  fail,  for  I  promised 
it  to  a  poor  little  crippled  boy.  Where  is  Jack 
Frost?  I  wish  he  were  here  to  paint  it  white  for 
me;  however,  it  will  do  very  well  as  it  is. 
(Canary  Bird  Music — played  softly.) 

MRS.  SANTA  The  mail  is  very  large  this  year. 
Here's  a  letter  from  a  little  blind  girl  who  wants 
a  canary  and  promises  to  take  good  care  of  it;  I 
suppose  we  shall  have  to  give  her  our  Miss  Sing 
Song.  (Looks  at  canary  and  sighs,  then  at  the 
dog.)  And  Little  Poppy  writes  that  her  doggie 
has  just  died,  so,  Skippy  {patting  dog's  head),  you 
must  leave  us,  too.  ( Takes  down  the  canary  and 
leads  the  dog  out.)     Such  a  lot  of  letters. 

SANTA  Why  don't  you  have  a  secretary?  My  good 
wife,  your  child  Lively  Toes  should  help  you  with 
your  work.  She  has  been  away  a  very  long  time  to- 
day just  when  you  need  her  most.  Have  you  no 
control  over  her?  She  is  getting  entirely  too  lively; 
I  suppose  she  has  gone  to  town  again. 

MRS.  SANTA  My  dear,  you  must  remember  that 
she  is  quite  as  much  your  child  as  she  is  mine — 


LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY       143 

she  certainly  never  got  that  roving  disposition  from 
me !  Of  course,  the  Twins  are  with  her  and,  if 
you  must  know,  I  sent  her  to  steal  a  truly  child  to 
help  me  with  my  work. 

SANTA  So!  Truly  children  are  a  great  deal  of 
trouble.  I  know  much  more  about  them,  dear, 
than  you  do.  Why  did  you  not  consult  me,  I 
should  like  to  know  ? 

MRS.  SANTA    Oh,  it  was  to  be  a  surprise. 

SANTA  Jack  Frost  and  the  Wind  Imp  are  with 
Lively  Toes,  you  say?  No  doubt  the  little  scala- 
wag, Jack,  has  painted  every  window  in  town  by 
this  time,  and  the  Wind  Imp  has  probably  ruffled 
the  hair  of  all  the  pretty  girls  and  knocked  off  all 
the  old  women's  bonnets.  How  did  they  go — on 
the  remaining  geese  I  hadn't  plucked,  or  did  you 
lend  them  my  reindeer?  (Looks  severely  at  his 
wife.) 

MRS.  SANTA  No,  indeed,  I  did  not  lend  the  chil- 
dren  your  reindeer;  they  took  the  geese.  The 
eight  reindeer  are  all  fresh  and  ready  for  you  to 
drive  to-night.  I  hope  you  have  painted  your 
sleigh  since  last  Christmas.  It  has  had  such  steady 
use  all  these  years  that  it  is  getting  to  look  rather 
shabby. 

SANTA  Yes,  I  did  paint  it,  dear;  would  you  like 
to  go  with  me  on  my  visits  this  Christmas  Eve? 
(Chucks  his  wife  under  the  chin.) 

MRS.  SANTA  (Sighs)  Oh,  of  course  I  would  like 
to,  but  I  don't  see  how  I  can  very  well.    I  always 


144     LITTLE  MADCAP'S   JOURNEY 

have  so  much  to  do  at  home.     You  know  I  have 

never  been  with  you  all  these  years. 
(Whistling  outside.) 
MRS.  SANTA     Ah!  that  is  the  Wind  Imp;  they 

must  be  returning,      (Knocking  is  heard.) 
SANTA    Come  in! 

(Enter  Lively  Toes,  the  Twins  and  Little  Mad- 
cap in  a  bright  red  cape  and  hood;  they  step  in,  laugh- 
ing and  shaking  of  the  snow,  and  the  first  three  speak 
together.) 
THE  THREE    See  what  we  have  brought  you — a 

real  live  child. 

(Mr.  and  Mrs.  Santa  get  up  and  shake  hands 
with  Madcap.) 
SANTA     I  have  always  made  all  the  visits  to  the 

real  children,  and  now  at  last  I  am  having  a  visit 

returned.    High  time,  it  seems  to  me  !  (Laughing.) 

Did  you  bring  your  visiting  card  ? 
MRS.  SANTA     What's  your  name?     You  are  the 

first  live  girl  I  have  seen. 

(Madcap  looks  very  shy  and  a  little  frightened, 
and  hangs  her  head.) 
MADCAP    My  name  is  Little  Madcap. 
MRS.  SANTA   (sitting  down  and  taking  the  child 

into  her  lap.)    I  can't  remember  when  I  ever  saw 

a  truly  child.    I  love  you.     I  will  keep  you  always 

and  always.     Now,  Madcap,  dear,  do  you  hear? 

You  can  never  escape   from  Santa   Claus's  home 

In  the  Christmas  Tree  Woods;  you  could  not  find 


LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY       145 

the  way.     You  can  never  get  home  unless  you  are 
taken  by  a  real  fairy  himself. 
THE  THREE   We  love  you,  we  will  never  let  you 

go- 

MADCAP  What  will  Granny  Merry  Twinkle  do? 
She  will  be  all  alone,  and  it  is  the  night  before 
Christmas. 

SANTA  Children!  Now  keep  quiet  a  minute  until 
we  finish  our  work;  we  have  only  two  more  letters 
to  read. 

(Madcap  looks  about — dolls  make  faces  at  her.) 

MRS.  SANTA  This  one  is  from  Tommy  Toodles. 
I  will  read  it  to  you.  "Dear  Old  Man,"  he  begins, 
"I  am  in  the  Fourth  Reader,  but  I  still  believe  in 
you,  even  if  you  don't  always  bring  what  I  ask  for. 
First  thing,  I  want  a  new  clock  for  the  school ;  this 
one  goes  too  slow  when  I  don't  know  my  lessons. 
Then  I  want  the  right  kind  of  weather  this  vaca- 
tion— coasting  and  skating  kind  of  weather — ^you 
know  how  to  make  it,  old  man.  Last  year,  of 
course,  I  was  very  much  pleased  with  the  things 
you  sent,  but  I  was  a  little  disappointed  not  to  get 
the  skates  I  asked  for;  please  try  to  remember  them 
this  time.  Perhaps  I  don't  write  in  season;  mother 
says  you  are  a  very  busy  man.  Besides,  you  live 
so  far  away,  I  suppose  at  the  North  Pole.  Don't 
forget  to  bring  a  doll  for  sister  and  horse  reins  for 
little  brother.    I  am  your  friend,  Tommy  Toddles." 

SANTA    Bless  the  boy.     Read  us  the  other,  wife. 


146     LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY 

MRS.  SANTA  This  is  from  his  sister  Toots;  she 
wants  you  to  bring  presents  to  make  the  little  poor 
children  happy,  and  doesn't  want  much  for  herself. 
On  second  thought,  though,  she  would  like  a 
Brownie  camera,  a  diamond  ring,  a  manicure  set 
and  a  light  blue  suit.  One  thing  more,  a  hat 
becoming  to  her  and  matching  the  suit.  She  says 
she  will  thank  you  when  she  gets  the  things. 

SANTA  (laughing)  How  like  a  girl! 

MADCAP  What  are  you  going  to  put  in  my  Granny 
Merry  Twinkle's  stocking  for  a  Christmas  pres- 
ent? 

SANTA  Great  Caesar's  Ghost!  I  haven't  a  present 
for  the  old  lady.  Aren't  you  afraid  she's  missed 
you  already? 

JACK  FROST  Oh,  no.  We  stopped  the  cuckoo  clock, 
so  she'll  never  know  that  Madcap  has  been  gone 
at  all. 

SANTA  Well,  I'm  glad  of  that;  I  wish  all  the  clocks 
would  stop  on  Christmas  Eve  and  give  me  more 
time  for  my  rounds.  The  little  girl  shall  have  a 
good  time  now,  anyway,  but  won't  she  give  us  a 
song  first? 

MADCAP  If  I  sing  a  song  will  you  let  me  go  home 
some  day? 

SANTA   Well,  we  will  see. 

MADCAP  (sings)    Sing  a  Song  of  Sixpence. 
(Fairies  and  animals  return.) 

MADCAP    Will  you  let  me  go  now? 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY      147 

MRS.  SANTA  (severely)  I  will  never  let  you  go; 
my  word  is  law  here. 

SANTA  Well !  Well !  Haven't  I  anything  to  say 
in  my  own  Christmas  Tree  Woods?  (Aside  to 
Madcap.)    Don't  be  frightened. 

ANIMALS  Madcap,  aren't  you  going  to  speak  to 
us? 

MADCAP  (pointing  at  squirrel)  I  remember  you; 
once  you  were  my  pet  and  ate  out  of  my  hand,  I 
fed  you  on  peanuts,  and  when  I  asked  you  what 
became  of  the  shells  you  told  me  that  the  baby 
fairies  went  coasting  in  them.  I  called  you  Baby, 
I  remember,  until  Tommy  Toodles  and  his  sister 
Toots  came  along  and  said  Billy  was  a  better  name. 
But  when  Granny  Merry  Twinkle  heard  that  she 
laughed  and  said  your  real  name  was  Mother  Squir- 
rel, that  your  home  was  a  hole  in  the  foot  of  a  tree 
with  an  apple  for  a  door,  and  that  she  had  seen 
your  young  ones.  I  must  go  home  to  Granny.  It 
is  getting  late,  can't  you  help  me? 
(The  squirrel  wags  her  head,  no.) 

MADCAP  Hello,  Mr.  Bunny,  you  were  once  my 
friend.  Don't  you  remember  how  I  fed  you  on 
fresh  green  lettuce  when  you  were  hungry?  Won't 
you  help  me  now  that  I  am  in  trouble  in  return  for 
my  kindness. 

(The  bunny  wags  her  head,  no.) 

MADCAP  (appeals  to  two  small  bears)  Bearo  and 
Bosso,  have  you  forgotten  me?    How  all  the  chil- 


148       LITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY 

dren  loved  you  at  the  Zoo.  Some  called  you  little 
devils,  others  little  dears,  but  everybody  agreed 
you  both  were  so  clever  and  so  handsome. 
(Smiles  at  them.)  I  am  sure  you  will  show  me  the 
way  home. 

(The  bears  wag  their  heads,  no.) 
SANTA  Just  wait  a  bit,  don't  be  in  a  hurry.  I'll 
help  you;  we  will  play  a  prank  on  the  Missis.  We 
don't  have  a  truly  child  here  every  day.  (Turns 
to  animals.)  Show  the  little  visitor  what  you  can 
do. 

(The  bears  come  forward,  and  give  a  dance,  wag 
their  heads  and  sing.) 

All  the  world  and  everything  and  everybody  I  see 
Plot  and  plan  as  hard  as  they  can  just  to  exasperate 

me; 
They  don't  do  a  thing  the  way  they  should, 
Though  I'm  always  telling  them  how  they  could. 
They've  only  to  do  the  way  they  don't. 
That's  just  the  opposite,  but  they  won't; 
And  I'm  simply  furious  all  day  long 
Watching  the  whole  cabood  go  wrong. 
O  what's  the  matter  with  everything  and  everybody 

I  see? 
It's  evident  they  are  all  to  blame, 
For  there's  nothing  the  matter  with  me ! 

(The  bunnies  hop  about  the  stage  and  the  squir- 
rels swish  their  tails.  The  fairies  give  a  march  with 
sleigh  bells.) 


LITTLE   MADCAP'S   JOURNEY        149 

SANTA     Now  for  a  game  of  Blind  Man's  Buff. 

(Aside  to  Madcap.)     This  is  the  moment;  Mrs. 

Santa  will  be  It. 

(All  the  fairies  crowd  around  Mrs.  Santa  and 
Lively  Toes  puts  a  handkerchief  over  her  eyes,  while 
Santa  smuggles  Madcap  into  the  sleigh  at  the  back  of 
the  stage  and  covers  her  up  and  gets  into  the  sleigh 
himself.) 
SANTA     Hip!  hip!  hooray!     I'm  off  to  the  chim- 

neys  of  the  children. 
MRS.  SANTA     Wait— I'm  going,  too! 

(Mrs.  Santa  tears  of  handkerchief  and  waves  it 
as  she  jumps  into  the  sleigh,  too,  and  the  fairies  gather 
about  as  they  start,  singing  in  chorus,  ''The  Fairy 
Song."  Between  Act  II  and  Act  III  fairy  transfor- 
mation scenes  could  be  introduced.) 


ISO     LITTLE    MADCAPS   JOURNEY 

Act  Three 

Scene  same  as  Act  I :  Evening;  lights  burning  in 
nursery  at  rise  of  curtain;  Granny  Merry  Twinkle  is 
discovered  snoring  loudly  on  the  lounge.  The  fire 
has  gone  out.  Noise  in  the  chimney;  Santa  comes 
down,  followed  by  the  Twins  and  Lively  Toes. 
Fiibity  Gibbets  music,  played  softly.) 
SANTA     Why  doesn't  the  Missis  come  down  the 

chimney,  I  wonder? 
FOICE    Help  !  Help !  Help !    I'm  stuck. 

(Santa  goes  to  her  rescue  and  pulls  her  out;  they 
all  stand  about  laughing.) 
SANTA    You  are  growing  fat,  my  dear,  there  is  no 

doubt  about  it. 
MRS.  SANTA  (sighs)    I  suppose  I  am,  though  it  is 

a  very  small  chimney.     If  I'd  known  the  chimneys 

were  so  small  I'd  never  have  come,  but  I  wanted 

to  make  sure  you  didn't  bring  that  child. 
SANTA   Too  late,  old  lady!  there  she  is.    (Madcap 

appears  down  the  chimney.) 
SANTA   (sings)     "There  was  an  Old  Woman"— 

(making  fun  of  her) . 
MRS.  SANTA  (sings)  "I  had  a  Little  Husband"— 

(making  fun  of  him) . 

(Santa  hangs  up  two  stockings,  one  big  empty 
one  marked  "Granny  Merry  Twinkle,"  the  other 
small  and  filled  with  toys  and  marked  "Little  Mad- 
cap'\) 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY      151 

SANTA  So  I  brought  you  home,  after  all,  Madcap, 
in  spite  of  my  wife.  You  see,  I  found  at  the  last 
moment  1  had  forgotten  to  get  any  present  for 
Granny  Merry  Twinkle,  and  it  occurred  to  me  that 
the  best  present  I  could  give  her  would  be  you! 
So  jump  into  the  big  stocking  quickly,  that's  a  good 
girl.  I  must  be  off  to  the  next  house.  Fairies, 
help  Madcap  into  the  stockmg. 

MADCAP  Well,  I'm  glad  to  be  home  again,  but  I 
did  have  a  beautiful  time  with  you,  after  all,  and 
now  please  don't  leave  me.  I  want  Granny  Merry 
Twinkle  to  see  you,  too.  Lively  Toes  told  me  she 
couldn't  see  fairies  even  if  she  was  awake,  but  can't 
she  really? 

SANTA  I'm  afraid  not.  I've  had  a  good  time  with 
you,  but  we  must  be  going.  A  nice  joke  on  my  old 
Missis  all  right — (pats  Mrs.  Santa  on  the  cheeks) 
— smuggling  the  child  into  the  sleigh  and  carrying 
her  off  with  the  presents  right  under  your  very 
nose,  my  dear,  without  your  knowing  a  word  about 
it,  and  when  you  planned  to  keep  her  forever 
and  ever.  And  now  she  wants  to  keep  us  here. 
Well,  that  is  a  joke !  The  very  idea !  How  the 
reindeer  did  go  to-day — zip !  wow !  How  they 
did  go — as  fast  as  the  Lightning  Sprites ! 

MRS.  SANTA      Come,   it's   getting  late,   and  we 


152     LITTLE    MADCAP'S   JOURNEY 

ought  to  get  home  before  sunrise.  Come,  chil- 
dren!    {Goes  into  fireplace.) 

MADCAP  Oh,  I  don't  want  you  to  go !  (Begins  to 
cry)  When  shall  I  see  you  all  again?  1  love  you, 
after  all. 

MRS.  SANTA  Well,  you  didn't  want  to  stay  with 
us.  I  don't  think  you  deserve  to  see  us  again; 
besides,  as  a  rule  we  have  to  say  good-bye  to  little 
girls  when  they  grow  tall  and  put  on  long  dresses. 
You  are  getting  quite  big  it  seems  to  me. 

LIVELY  TOES  I  love  you.  Madcap.  You  can  al- 
ways see  us  once  a  year,  on  Christmas  Eve,  because 
you  have  been  to  Old  Father  Christmas's  home, 
and  that  makes  you  in  a  way  one  of  us. 

MADCAP  I  can't  wait  a  whole  year.  Please  don't 
leave  me  ever,  I've  had  such  a  beautiful  time  with 
you  all. 

SANTA   Come  along. 

LIVELY  TOES  Oh  dear!  Oh  dear!  what  shall 
we  do  ?  She  is  the  sweetest  truly  child  we  have  ever 
known.  I  will  give  you  the  power — you  alone. 
Madcap,  dear — by  kissing  you  on  the  forehead,  to 
see  us  whenever  you  wish. 

MADCAP  How  wonderful!  But  Granny  Merry 
Twinkle  won't  believe  me  when  I  tell  her  I  have 
seen  you.  She  will  say  I'm  telling  whoppers,  and 
I'll  probably  get  a  spanking  with  the  slipper. 

LIVELY  TOES  (thoughtfully)  Well,  because  I 
love  you  I  will  give  you  even  greater  power;  when 


LITTLE    MADCAP'S    JOURNEY      153 

you  kiss  anyone  else  on  the  forehead  and  wish  for 
us  he  will  see  the  fairies,  too. 

(Lively   Toes  kisses  Madcap  on  the  forehead, 

and  the  Twins  wave  good-bye  as  they  all  go  up  the 

chimney.) 

MRS.  SANTA  Good-bye,  child.  Even  if  I  am  a 
fairy,  listen  to  my  warning  word.  Fairies  are  all 
more  or  less  humbugs;  whether  we  appear  at  all, 
depends  upon  how  much  you  love  us  and  how  much 
you  want  to  see  us.  (She  goes  up  chimney.) 
(Granny  wakes  and  sees  Madcap  in  her  stock- 
ing.) 

GRANNY  What  a  dream  I  have  had !  Did  I  snore? 
And  where  have  you  been  all  the  while,  and  what 
are  you  doing  in  the  stocking? 

MADCAP  O  Granny,  I  have  been  on  such  a  strange 
journey !  I  went  with  Lively  Toes  and  the  Twins 
— we  all  rode  on  Father  Christmas's  geese.  I 
cuddled  up  in  the  soft  feathers  and  kept  warm  all 
the  way.  Oh,  what  an  exciting  journey  I  had! 
Goosiegander,  he  sailed  on  the  lake  and  was  as 
good  as  any  boat;  and  I  drove  him,  too,  in  the 
snowy  clouds — why,  we  flew  so  high  we  were  on 
the  Milky  Way,  I  am  sure !  When  it  began  to  get 
dark  the  stars  became  the  lamplights. 

GRANNY  (amused)  I  should  think  Goosiegander 
would  have  been  an  awkward  bird,  and  didn't  he 
ever  drop  you,  child,  or  stop  on  his  long  journey? 

MADCAP    Oh,  he  rested  sometimes,  on  the  tip  of 


154     LITTLE    MADCAP'S   JOURNEY 

some  tall  trees  covered  with — I  think — spun  sugar  I 
Why,  the  trees  must  have  been  as  high  as  Bunker 
Hill  Monument!  And  as  to  his  being  awkward 
— he  was  as  handy  as  a  pocket  in  a  coat. 

GRANNY  And  where  did  you  go? 

MADCAP  We  went  to  Santa  Claus's  home  in  the 
Christmas  Tree  Woods,  and  I  saw  Santa  and  Mrs. 
Santa  making  the  children's  toys  for  Christmas. 
Oh,  it  was  lovely !  The  house  was  all  full  of  candy 
and  cake,  and  the  bears  came  in  and  the  bunnies 
and  Jack  Frost  painted  pictures.  The  fairies 
wanted  to  keep  me  with  them  always,  and  I  believe 
they  would  have,  but  when  I  told  Old  Santa  about 
you,  Granny  Merry  Twinkle,  he  said,  "Great 
Caesar's  Ghost,  I  forgot  the  old  lady.  I  haven't 
got  a  present  for  her."  Then  he  decided  I  would 
be  a  good  present  for  you,  and  so  he  smuggled  me 
out  of  the  cave  and  brought  me  back  to  you  in  his 
sleigh  with  reindeer,  and  we  came  down  the  chim- 
ney and  he  put  me  in  your  stocking,  and  I  am  very 
glad  to  be  home.  Granny  dear. 

GRANNY  It  seems  to  me  I  knew  the  fairies  too 
when  I  was  a  child,  but  I  forget,  I  am  so  old,  so 
old! 

MADCAP  Would  you  like  to  see  the  fairies, 
Granny? 

GRANNY    Indeed  I  would! 

MADCAP  Then  come  here  and  I  will  kiss  you  on 
the   forehead  and   see  what  happens.      I   do  not 


LIITTLE  MADCAP'S  JOURNEY       155 

know  whether  the  charm  will  work.  Lively  Toes 
gave  me  the  power  to  see  and  make  others  see  the 
fairies,  because  I  love  her  and  she  loves  me. 

GRANNY    Well,  let's  try  and  see  if  anything  hap- 
pens. 

(The  old  lady  takes  the  child  out  of  her  stocking, 

and  Madcap  kisses  her  on  the  forehead.    Then  all  the 

fairies  and  animals  come  in  and  dance  and  sing,  and 

Granny  watches  them  smiling.) 

CHORUS— "Good  Night  to  One  and  All." 

CURTAIN 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

405  Hilgard  Avenue,  Los  Angeles,  CA  90024-1388 

Return  this  material  to  the  library 

from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


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